u/SuchSpite44

If I sat in a room with 13 year old me

The girl who already knows how to love so deeply 
The girl who already puts others before herself 
The girl who knows something's wrong with her but doesn't quite know what yet

I would tell her about what happened last summer 
How the one she loved the most in all of her 20 years ripped her heart out and tied her stomach in knots
Lying in a bed with someone else
The bed in the room we decorated together 
A room where my jewellery was still on the nightstand 
A room with a wardrobe where the stupid onesie of mine lived

This would be a warning to her 
A warning that it happened 
Not a warning about you

I won't tell her about your blue eyes 
Your curly hair that you HAD to have perfect before leaving your room
I won't tell her what music you listen to 
I won't tell her about the restaurant you took me to for my birthday
I won't tell her about the bay 
I won't tell her about us learning to ice skate 

Because if I could go back 
I'd relive it all
And she will go into it wanting to as well

The story wouldn't end with her asking, “Are you feeling better now?”
And me replying with a soft smile and a confident “yes”
Putting my feelings before her own
As she so often does
 
It would be me telling 13 year old me that life moves on
Bigger things come 
But not love
And she’ll be confused 
Because at 13,
everything's about love 
It's the only things shes good at
The only thing we are good at.

I’m currently writing a piece on music in Cardiff, I was just genuinely curious what the people of Cardiff’s favourite “little” music venue is/ was if it’s not open anymore. Let me know:)