My husband's exes are showing up on my Instagram feed and it makes feel the "ick", and I don't know what to do.
I have always believed that I don't need all the information about my spouse's previous relationships/matches/talking stages, just the reasons that they didn't work out to guide myself and to get to know my spouse better. My husband and I (late 20s) have been married for over a year now and we were both virgins when we got married.
I have shared my past with him vaguely (focusing on why those relationships were not compatible and red flags) and he has shared his past with me. I don't care about what he did before me as long as he was a virgin, and he had the same standard for me, and I don't care to find out details anyway because I believe in keeping sins private unless they are required to be shared.
However, my husband overshared. Two or three years before we got engaged, we had a talking stage and he shared lots of information about his exes. For better or for worse, I have the memory of an elephant. I still remember everything. I know his exes' names, I know what they look like, I know where they are from and where they live, I know "how far" they've gone. I will note that he was very immature back then, and because he overshared and overstepped, I ended our talking stage at that time. Fast forward a couple years - we reconnected and I could tell he was different. While we were getting to know each other more for marriage, I told him I didn't want to know that information and he apologized for being so... informative, if you will.
Recently, two of his exes got married and both of their weddings' content is popping up on my for you page because it appears we have mutuals. A disclaimed: I truly do pray that Allah keeps us all happy in our marriages, I don't have anything against his exes. Unfortunately, I see my husband in each post that pops up on my Instagram page. I'm not even looking for it - it's friends of mine that have liked their posts, so they show on my feed, and each post is a constant reminder of how my husband overstepped my boundaries back then and shared SO MUCH more than I asked for. I feel like I've been over informed with useless information that only makes me feel the "ick" toward him. I know he's a good man and he's worked on himself to become a better Muslim. I am trying to be present and focused on where we are now, but I find myself wishing that I first met my husband as he is now, not as he was during that talking stage a couple years ago. I wish I never had that experience with him, and I wish he never overshared.
I guess this post serves as a warning. If you are talking to someone for the first time and conversations of past experiences come up, don't overshare and both parties should not ask for more information other than what their dealbreakers require. We are supposed to conceal our sins for a reason. Take it from me - that knowledge will stay with you forever.