So which tradition would he follow?
My daughter (Sephardic) may be marrying a young man who is a paternal Jew, raised Christian but is considering getting an Orthodox conversion. He is of Polish descent and grew up in Williamsburg. People have offered to hook him up with a sponsoring rabbi After he finished his studies - they are both planning to move back to NYC. Even the biggest hurdle for most of us who converted (like me) wax the kosher stuff and he is a third generation vegetarian (so not a big issue). Anyway here is the question…
When you convert..you really are just Jewish. You do t convert to Ashkenazi or Sephardic..you just convert. When you marry..for instance , an Ashkenazis woman marries a Sephardic husband, you take in their minihags. For instance, I had a conversion done through a sponsoring rabbi who was Ashkenazi, went to an Ashkenazi shul, but when we got married we followed Sephardic traditions and our household did things the Sephardic way.
Now, let’s say my daughter’s boyfriend goes through your regular Ashkenazi Orthodox conversion (more likely since the temple we attend does not sponsor conversions). Is she required to go by Ashkenazi traditions or is he Sephardic since I would think the conversion is neutral - sort of like if you are a paternal Jew named Cohen , you convert, you still don’t have cohenim status. I view it sort of like that - as a neutral Jew and he should adopt our traditions but he does have Jewish family members who are Ashkenazi so no one can say he has no connection to Ashkenazi Jewish culture.
They are already fighting over future baby names and traditions. He doesn’t like her father’s name (usually first pick) for his own child, so she suggested her grandfather’s/brothers) since he will never have his own kids) but he is like what if his grandfather was still alive when they have the baby (he has the same last name of her dead grandfather). She is really into Sephardic and is legally changing her name to her grandmother’s since we didn’t follow it. We made it her Hebrew name but she started using it 4 years ago as her regular name. It sounds weird but it really is a fight they are having.
She argued his immediate family took to the Christian route (they celebrate the Christian holidays at their home not the Jewish ones) while my husband’s family is still traditional Sephardics so our culture should dominate. I assume it will regardless if he converts or not. At least he really likes haminados and cheese or spinach burekas.