How to support your partner that lives with a toxic religious family.
Lately my partner realize how crazy her family when it comes to religion, it felt like they are addicted by it. So just for the context, we are both girl and in a relationship, we are secret to our own family. We are still not ready to come out to them as we know that she will be kicked out to their home, but we are open to show our relationship to our friends.
For the record she just recently graduated last year, she studied in different school and part away from her family for a long time so its her 1st time to feel independence. And now that she just graduated, she lives in their home and now estranged to their church routine.
They basically pray everyday, it is mind boggling that their life revolve to pray and be active on their church. I questioned it and very open to my gf about how abnormal their religion. Its like they never have a time for themselves. Everytime there's a emotional situation happening to their family, instead of fixing it, they let god do the work.
One thing that triggered my partner to feel like her depression is coming back again was when she had a job interview to another city(and i accompanied her) and the she did not updated the family where she was due to both of our phone died, they all panic and bombarded her with text, calls and even when to my apartment and drop a letter for my gf of how worried they are to her.
They also texted me that is now unsent and it says that,"what did you do to my daughter."
The letter was also manipulative. And it felt like a direct attack to me, that i did something to my gf. Basically it was a letter for my gf, with exact time and date, and it was how they miss her and worried. And that my gf never really cared about them but its fine because they worry about her.
I was fuming mad when i read all of the bs they said.
I was absent for my work to accompany her to the job interview, they were busy in church related so i was the one who accompany her, the transportation to go there was bloody hell and they knew how hassle the transpo to go into that city, we are so tired due to walking and literally starving. And its not that even late. It was 7 pm at night. They want updates on where she is every second.
When they were calling her and we already charged our phone, her mother was sobbing so hard, it felt my gf just died at that moment. Everyone judged my gf, almost felt like she was a sinner for not updating them. They didnt even ask my gf how was she, why did she not update. But instead they accused her that she did not care about the family at all, that she was choosing me and we are having fun.
Sorry if i rant too much on her family, im just sad that she cant go out without updating her parents where she was, what she was doing. They also didnt like that she have a friend outside of their church or family, She also can't do other stuff that is not spiritual related, they question her when she want to try new things if her spirituality will grow if she do that thing. She is also is indirectly shamed for her choices and not that outgoing to church anymore. Her family priotized their mother's feeling above everything else. And basically used that verse where they have to honor your parents so they can go to heaven.
She feels right now that she is being shun, for not being a good daughter just like back then(before she went to college)
Right now i dont know what to do to support her. I do assure her that im always here and if the worst scenario happen, i will be there for her. I dont want her to depressed again and im scared of what will happen to her. Is there anything i can do to support her? Any advice or tips will be a great help. I just dont want her to feel alone.