u/Suitable-Celery-1353

My (23M) girlfriend (23F) has started a big full time job at a well known company and she asked me if i’m excited to see her new office. I said no because my office is better. for context i was extremely excited for her when she got her job and was giddy the whole night and even am planning on visiting her while she is in her new state since we will be LD. it’s been a few months after her announcement and she’s very excited still understandably.

AITAH for not being as excited to see her new office as she got very upset

i (F23) wanted to breakup with my bf (M23) after reflecting on how i react to anything related to my bf looking/thinking/interacting with other women. we’ve been dating 3.5 years and it’s not really a one thing that happened per say, but an accumulation of things throughout of our relationship, whether it be him following girls on insta, looking at women in public, etc. i would always get salty, upset, and uncomfortable in those situations and we’ve talked about them but i always feel like there’s something that comes up.

i realized that im not able to handle these types of situations in the sense that i get very upset and stressed out over it. i also don’t want to feel this way and thus brought up breaking up bc i am no longer “ready” for a relationship as he says this isn’t anything big and that he isn’t sexualizing anything. bc of this, i do want to trust this but i just can’t stand it which is why i feel i should back out of a relationship and stay single until i’ve healed that part of myself. i do remember i would be fine with this kind of stuff for the first year but nowadays i find myself tired of having to care about it.

we still really do care about each other and want the relationship to work out, but i feel that my peace is in jeopardy and he definitely has expressed it’s like he’s walking on eggshells so that he doesn’t upset me by mentioning other women that can be taken into a bad light.

so my bf and i have been dating for 3.5 years and we are college sweethearts. however, i always noticed that he has never changed his wallpaper to be me or us together. instead, it’s just an anya forger (from spy x family) wallpaper and when i asked why it was just anya, he said it’s bc he thought she’s really cute. and mind you he will keep bringing up that he thinks she’s very cute (as we talk about the anime).
i didn’t really let it bother me too much in the beginning, but then i was experimenting with my own wallpapers and i made quite a few of him or us and even showed it to him asking if he thought it was cute. i thought maybe he would catch a hint… but uhhh he never did.

and so fast forward to today, i brought it up again bc ik several couples that would have each other as their wallpapers. when we go on double dates too, i’d compliment it and say it’s very cute and HE DOES TOO! so that’s why im confused… why doesn’t he? i asked him again and he said he said he doesn’t (verbatim) “want strangers to see what his gf looks like.” like huh?? so like… can i get some advice please? i’m starting to think he doesn’t actually want to see his beloved gf for whatever the reason it may be. can anyone with experience help me to understand if this is normal in a loving relationship? or maybe am i just delusional and shouldn’t even let it bother me?