It’s Consuming
My (27F) husband’s (27M) past relationships are eating away at me. For context we have been married for about 3 years, I wasn’t aware that he had been married before. One of his friends casually brought it up in a group setting and it was humiliating. It was my first time meeting all of them so my husband was the only person there that I knew. He didn’t handle the situation well by getting upset that I was rightfully hurt by finding out this way. He has since apologized for how he handled the situation. Regardless, I find her instagram and she is quite honestly one of the most beautiful woman I’ve seen (that isn’t a celebrity). She literally does modeling on the side, feed is full of beautiful photos of her, and she’s an incredibly talented photographer. His most recent ex was very pretty but the ex wife genuinely takes the cake. I’m almost embarrassed for him that he fumbled her. I obviously have insecurities and they’re made worse knowing what she looks like. We’ve had some issues sexually with him rejecting me. Every time it happens I can’t help but think how he would probably never turn her down. I can’t compare when I can’t compete. I’m honestly at a loss at this point and am not sure how to fix this. Will it ever go away? I can’t talk to him about it anymore and I don’t really have close friends. I’m aware I’m not beautiful by any means other than my character. There’s nothing I can do about it and I think that’s the hardest part.