No Free Lunches OR How I will deal with never eating lunches again
I started at 324lbs almost 2 years ago. I was 177lbs this morning. I feel very fortunate this medication has worked for me, and that I have not suffered the worst side effects. (I always tell people who are considering Mounjaro, the side effects are no joke. take them seriously, there are figuratively no free lunches)
Now that I have hit my target weight, I went to my doctor Friday, and she said that we were basically just going to back off the dose until I start gaining again and then go with that dose moving forward. For some reason I thought she might have some alternative medications that might work in a maintenance type way. (I was on Phentermine for a bit)
So, for the past two years, I have not been eating at regular times and certainly not 'normal' amounts of food. A couple we know invited us for dinner last night. I turned it down because it makes me VERY uncomfortable to have food (in some cases multiple courses) served to me that I have no appetite for and, frankly really cannot comfortably eat. So my options are, make myself sick, or what seems like insult my host by sending all my food back.
I have no secrets; I have told everyone in my life about how food works with me now. But for other human beings alot of their life revolves around meals, and planning and where should we go, and lets talk about lunch, and, and and... I am not judging or angry, I just have no interest anymore. I am respectful others have to eat but even though they 'know' they still expect me to have enthusiasm or something.
I do miss food. I miss eating because I'm bored or sad or lonely. I miss getting really excited about eating out at my favorite place. I miss being part of that whole tribal energy that revolves around feeding.
But I will NOT gain this weight back again. Not ever. Under any circumstances.
So, after my Doc visit, now what I need to come to grips with, is this is how it's going to be permanently. I guess I am still understanding how to finally give this up, now that it is for sure final.
Any stories of experience, strength and hope out there? lol
thanks for listening, ST