Struggling because I can't defend Islam's stance on stuff like abortion, and fear is the only thing keeping me practicing
Hi, I am a 16m practicing muslim. I am the only practicing muslim within my family/community, and have taught myself the religion via online trusted sources. I pray 5x a day, go to jumuah every friday when possible, and read at least 1 page of Quran every day (I can only read Arabic, but I dont understand what I'm reading).
I have been very doubtful recently. I don't get how this religion which is supposed to be "perfect" can't defend arguments about abortion well (for example stuff like "why would a woman need to go through childbirth if she doesn't want the baby"). [EDIT: THE REPLIES HAVE HELPED CLEAR UP THE ABORTION THING]
Every time I pray, it's almost always out of obligation and out of fear of hell, rarely out of love for Allah. It's gotten to the point where I think I would leave the religion if there was 0 punishment because im unsure of my religion. Fear of hell is I think the only thing keeping me in the religion, because I can't come to a logical conclusion with my doubts and these unanswered arguments.
I feel lost, and I don't know what to do. I don't really want to leave the religion, but idk.