u/Superhero-Motivation

Hello everyone. It’s no secret that the dating world sucks for everyone, but i can’t help but notice how difficult it is when you have emotional deprivation as your lifetrap. I just feel like everything hits twice as hard as someone regular, and with this dating world and all of the ghosting you’re just being susceptible to it 24/7. Like I was talking to a girl for a week, she flirted back and showed strong reciprocative signals. She wasn’t very special besides that but my emotional deprivation mode liked that so much. It really hurted when she cancelled the date today. 

I’ll probably get over this fast and i know how to rationally think about this, but sometimes with emotional deprivation stuff like this just really stings. Just wanted to vent but if anyone has some emotional deprivation specific or Defectiveness lifetrap tips, for sure do let me know! 

Hello everyone! 23M here. I want to share a celebration. One of my biggest lifetraps/schemas is emotional deprivation. I have many friends who I have great connections with, get appreciation from and generally get my social needs met on paper. With this I still feel a crippling and persistent need for connection, especially romantically from women.

Recently I spoke to a woman on the train. She was very nice, warm and open to talk. This is really rare to find in my area. We talked for some time. At the end I asked for her instagram, she said she was addicted to social media and deleted everything. We parted our ways nicely.

When she left I kinda felt my lifetrap speaking and thinking “Awh man, she was the only one who you felt a connection with”. Maybe my inner child wanted to be seen was involved with. Recently I’ve been working on my lifetrap though, and I immediately corrected myself with “No, stop this narrative and pity party. You don’t need validation/connection from this stranger, you get love from many people in your life. “ i didn’t say this punitively, moreso as in let the healthy adult version of myself takeover instead of letting my inner child loose with the same destructive narrative. I felt so much better about this and even though I have much work to improve on, this felt like a nice sign of progress!

Hello everyone. Ive had a chronic personality problem and I’m very much wondering what modes fit with this+ how I can tackle it. I’ve got a crippling need for validation by the opposite gender (and in general). I find it quite hard to come home after a long day and see no text messages from girls. I mean, I survive and do my stuff anyway- but It never seems to fade. I do many fun and meaningful things in a day, I realize romance isn’t the only fullfillment in life, but I still feel quite empty whenever I have no romantic anticipation.

Especially when I’ve had contact with a girl for a period time and then not anymore, it feels like a hard reset. im convinced there’s a mode active here, but I’m not sure which. Any insightd and do you have some schema therapy advice?