NPD OR sociopath. What is wrong with me... I am comfortable
I am 36F, I have struggled with relationships my entire life dating back to literal elementary school. Lots of trauma but I always told myself that is a part of life, everyone has trauma. Younger me was a lot more impulsive and immature in relationships. Now that I'm older I really am struggling with relationships. I've been in the same relationship almost 7 years. I love him but I lack empathy, patience, respect, and basic communication skills according to him. No one else has ever said this to me. I do interrupt him when he says things about me/us that I feel are wrong or I disagree with. I will cut him off to explain why I am right or why he is wrong. I lack real emotions. He decided we are frail, I moved into another room....instead of buckling down to fix the relationship or understand his sadness and pain, I was excited to decorate my new room. I tend to push things under the rug, don't address issues and just float through life. I know these are bad traits. I wonder if it's more sociopath than NPD. I just lack a genuine empathetic care for others as a whole.
Sorry guys....Just on a hunt for self help literature so I can try to work on myself or find what is wrong with me.