I hate how everyone can see it.
I just feel like everyone I talk to can see me as this incapable socially malnourished man-child. I know that’s probably not what they are thinking, but it’s obvious that I struggle with chatting and I’m pretty inexperienced in everything. Like my opinions and what I want to say sounds good in my head but then when it’s time to actually speak to someone it’s just not… right, robotic. It’s not that I’m just really insecure, usually when I’m alone and living in my own head I can completely distance myself from my shortcomings and I get excited to talk people, but then… I’m not me, I’m this failing thing. Like im regular at this nerdy place right, and I try to talk with the clerk at the shop when it feels cool, and a couple weeks ago (I don’t remember the context) my dad made this joke about him being the one that pays, it just upset me you know. I wasn’t offended, but it was true, it’s just gross.
Sorry to vent, I’ve never really posted anything like this before