u/Sweaty-Indication-87

[Lyrics] First song I tried to write, need feedback.

I wrote it like a week ago and have been modifying it ever since.

I was inspired by Lemon Demon.

English isn't my first language, though I've learned it and I *think* I can speak it, I'm still not sure about how "natural" sounding my lyrics are (I have used a rhyme dictionary, but i tried to make them sound natural and get the point across).

Also, I think it works with the right bpm; I don't know anything about how to write actual melodies, but I think I will learn it in the future, at first i need to know whether my lyrics are good or not.

Anyways, here's "Clone Song" (Title Needed)

[Verse 1]

Once, I donated my bone,

They said it would give me a clone

It was really quick, I think

And then I heard my doorbell ring

There he was, just like my twin

But then I went and questioned him

[Pre-Chorus]

At first it was kinda lame

It seemed like we're the same

[Chorus 1]

But he doesn't know my darkest secret

Even though he has to know my secret

Still he doesn't know my darkest...

Is he even me?

[Verse 2]

I was made in a lab

Or some magic cab

The cloning worked, and I'm the clone

I came back home, before the dawn

I saw myself, without denial

And then he put me on his trial?!

[Pre-Chorus]

What was that? Some kind of game?

Like obviously, we're the same

[Chorus 2]

But he has a different darkest secret

Even though he has to have my secret

Still he has a different darkest...

Is he even me?

[Verse 3]

And so we talked and both found out

And now beetween us there's no doubt

That he is me, at least has been

But then the third one came in

[Pre-Chorus]

I was late, but when i came

I saw Them, and we were the same

[Chorus 3]

But these *guys* talk 'bout some darkest secret

Even though that i don't have a secret

Still they have some crazy darkest...

Are they even me?

Am I even Them?

[Post-Chorus]

They are not like me

And I am not like them

Seems to me, my clone

Has mind of his own

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u/Sweaty-Indication-87 — 10 days ago