u/Sweet_Mongoose_900

I have started having self harm episodes again. I am sometimes in so much pain that I get nosebleeds from crying. Like it makes me light headed and that is followed by nosebleeds. My self harming becomes manipulative too. But in dark times sh seems like the only escape. You cannot see how much my head hurts from emotional pain but you can see a cut on my skin. all I wanted was to be seen :( But everytime I self harm I ruin everything. I ruined my birthday like that, how do I stop?