Did becoming a dad make anyone else realize they don't know who they are?
I have an 8-month-old son, and I love being his dad. That's not what this is about.
I've been struggling with something that I don't think started with becoming a parent. Fatherhood has just brought it to the surface.
A little background: I grew up with an alcoholic father. My parents divorced when I was 13, and as an adult I've realized I identify with a lot of the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) Laundry List traits. Looking back, I think I spent most of my life focused on surviving, adapting, and trying to keep the peace rather than figuring out who I actually was.
Now I'm a husband, a dad, and I work full-time. Somewhere along the way I've realized I don't really know who I am.
I don't mean that in a dramatic way. I just don't feel like I have a real sense of identity outside of being useful to other people or checking the next responsibility off the list.
I see people who seem to know who they are. They have passions, purpose, and a strong sense of self. I honestly don't know if I've ever had that.
Has anyone else experienced something similar, especially if you grew up in a dysfunctional home? Did becoming a father bring these kinds of questions to the surface? What helped you start figuring yourself out?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate you.