I can work incredibly hard for months, then suddenly become completely useless. Has anyone here actually overcome this?
First of all, thanks to anyone who actually reads this whole thing. I know we’re all supposed to be running our businesses instead of reading strangers’ existential crises on Reddit, so I appreciate it 😂
I’m 18 (I’ve been deeply involved in the business for 2 good years now, please don’t laugh 😆) and I’m a partner in a construction and renovation business with my father. I have real responsibilities (estimates, clients, suppliers, projects, admin, etc.), so when I don’t perform, it actually affects the business and other people.
My problem is consistency.
I’ve had extended periods where I’ve been extremely productive. I can work hard, stay focused, take responsibility, get shit done, and genuinely enjoy doing it. I’m ambitious as hell and I love business.
So I know I can work. That’s what makes this so frustrating.
I seem to go through cycles where I’ll be doing great for months, then gradually start procrastinating more and more until I can literally sit in front of my computer with important work waiting and somehow waste hours doomscrolling, watching shows, browsing random shit, etc.
And the funniest part is that I don’t even enjoy procrastinating.
When I’m relaxing, I’m thinking about how I should be working. I tell myself that as soon as I get back to the office I’m going to work my ass off.
Then I sit down at the computer and my brain suddenly wants to do literally anything except work.
So I end up neither working properly nor relaxing properly. Fantastic system. 10/10.
I’ve also realized that I live in the future way too much. I think constantly about what we could build with the company, where I could be in a few years, financial goals, the life I want, etc.
It motivates me, but sometimes I think I’m basically getting high on my own future instead of doing the boring work required to actually get there.
Eventually reality hits, I get pissed off with myself, have a massive burst of motivation, become disciplined again… and sooner or later the cycle repeats.
And this isn’t really a knowledge problem.
I know about time blocking, website blockers, putting the phone away, exercise, routines, planning the night before, breaking tasks down, etc. I’ve tried systems and they work, until I stop following the fucking system.
That’s what I actually want to solve.
I don’t want to need motivation, guilt or panic to function. I want to become boringly consistent. I want to work hard when it’s time to work, be someone people can rely on, and then actually enjoy my free time without feeling guilty.
So I’m mainly asking people here who genuinely recognize this pattern:
If you used to be like this and eventually became consistently reliable, what actually changed?
Environment? Accountability? Removing easy stimulation? ADHD treatment? Learning to tolerate boredom? Better separation between work and free time? Simply growing up and developing discipline? Something else?
Most importantly, what made it stick after the initial motivation disappeared?
I’m already going to find a therapist and get properly evaluated, including for possible attention/executive function issues, so respectfully, I don’t need 50 people telling me “go to therapy” or diagnosing me from a Reddit post. I’m handling that separately.
I’m looking for lived experience from people who can genuinely say:
“Yeah, I used to operate like this. Here’s what I learned.”
Thanks in advance for any input, especially from people who’ve actually been through it.