r/ExecutiveDysfunction

People who get overstimulated easily, what do you usually do to reset? I can handle it for a while, but eventually even conversations become too much. Listening to music with my eyes closed helps me, but I'm curious what works for everyone else. Do you take naps, spend time alone, or have other strategies?

Hey all,

I'm now in my third year. 1 more to finish this. I don't have a paper published, or any ideas for my next work. I've been working on this simple project for more than a year now and I finally got some results in March/April. Since then I've been trying to write a paper. But I have zero motivation to do anything.

My bf is also a PhD student. He works with a schedule, very organized. He tries his best to push me for the same, drags me to work with him, makes me go to sleep on time.. But I cannot do anything. I don't sleep on time, I am always scrolling something, I don't eat. Previously I thought it could be stress or smth, related to my personal stuffs, but now that things are sorted, I still can't get myself to work. Even if I push myself to work, its just a short burst of energy. I know I am capable of more. But I don't know. My supervisors are very hands off. They have lost hopes in me, coz both of them don't work in my area and they can't help me much. I'm so lost. I don't think I can finish a PhD and get a job. I can't believe I left my job to pursue this and also thought I can do this within 3 years.

Without firm deadlines and supervision, I don't think I can work. And I don't really care about things anymore.

Even writing one para a day would be so great. Somebody help me.

For as long as I can remember, I don't think I've ever submitted a task on time. I've always had to ask for extensions, and even then I struggle to finish. To this day, I still can't understand why this happens.

My psychiatrist says it isn't because of ADHD and believes it's more of a perfectionism issue. But today the shame and guilt have completely overwhelmed me.

I lost my job three months ago. My previous job was fully remote. I was incredibly lucky that my team was so patient with me and tolerated my missed deadlines for a long time. Eventually, though, I was laid off.

For the past two months, I've been interviewing for new jobs. Many companies have given me assignments to evaluate my skills. Every single time, I struggle to even start. I ask for more time, and then I still can't get myself to do it.

One company was kind enough to give me an extension. Today is the final deadline, and I still haven't started.

I've probably emailed more than 10 companies saying I couldn't complete the assignment because I "need to learn more." The truth is, I do feel like I need to learn more but then I can't even start learning. After that, I apply for another job, and the whole cycle repeats.

I'm also wondering if working from home is making things worse for me. Should I stop looking for remote jobs and try working onsite instead? Maybe having a structured environment would help me get started on things. But right now, I can't even get myself to learn the skills I need or finish these assignments.

It feels like I'm stuck in an endless loop.

Can anyone else relate to this? Especially the part where you genuinely believe you'll get it done, so you tell people you will but then you fail again. It's not that I'm intentionally lying. I truly mean it every time, and that's what hurts the most.

Has anyone been through something similar? Did switching from remote work to onsite make any difference with task initiation or procrastination?

For years my list looked like "taxes," "call the dentist," "clean the kitchen." Every one of those sat there for weeks and I felt worse each time I read it. Eventually reading the list became its own task I avoided, which is a pretty funny place to end up.

What changed: I started writing the first physical thing my body does, not the outcome. So instead of "taxes" the line says "open the folder on the desk." Instead of "call the dentist" it says "find the number, write it on a sticky note." Instead of "clean the kitchen" it says "carry one glass to the sink."

Two things happened. The list stopped being scary to open, because nothing on it takes more than a minute. And I stopped stalling mid-task, because once the folder is open the next move is usually obvious and I don't need the list anymore.

It doesn't work on full shutdown days. Nothing does, and I've mostly stopped expecting it to. But on ordinary bad days it gets things moving.

I'm curious what other people's lists actually look like. Goals, or moves? And if you've tried writing them as moves, did it hold up past the first week or did it drift back into goals like everything else I try?

1. I pretend like I've lost control over my body, reduces mental chatter and negotiating myself out of a task (idea courtesy of pornhub)

2. I set alarms for EVERYTHING, I have about 40 alarms a day

3. I change into my gym outfit before leaving the office so I can get home, dump my bag, grab my shoes and go, not fall victim to the sit pit

4. I tell people I'm doing something and that they should ask me in 2 days to see how it's going, public accountability

5. Same thing as the last one, I post pictures of everything I'm doing on social media

6. None of my meals take longer than 5 mins to put together, and minimal dirty dishes

7. I have 5 pants, 5 shirts, I wear them in rotation, over and over again for 2 years and them replace them w the exact same

8. I have one pair of shoes for non gym stuff, one for gym stuff, one for running, one pair of dressy heels, all in black because they go w everything

9. I only have 7 pairs of socks and would never rewear so forced to do laundry once a week

10. I have a designated spot for every thing in my room and house

Edit: forgot to add the most unhinged ones-

11. I went and got a full time job even though I have a startup because a wholly unstructured day where I'm not accountable to anyone was a recipe for disaster, I was working till 3 am, doomscrolling then some, and waking up at 2 pm, it was fucking absurd, being forced to sit at a desk mentally sharp early in the morning made me pull it together, I don't plan on quitting until I have a few employees, at this stage I'm still a solopreneur

12. I listen to a 10 hour loop of David Goggins on Spotify to shame myself out of inaction

What are your hacks?

Hey I'm in my late 20s trying college AGAIN and I know my college offers good accommodations for students with disabilities, and people keep telling me to use it. Now, I'm diagnosed ADHD (since I was 5) and used to have accommodations in high school, like extra time on tests and a separate room and other things.

So I know I can get the accommodations easily, I just never found my high school accommodations useful at all to tell you the truth. I never needed extra time and the quieter room was nice but not necessary either. I want to use accommodations but I have no clue what would actually be useful. My biggest issue is staying on top of homework and studying because I obviously have major struggles with executive dysfunction. Another issue I have is sometimes it takes me a little longer to comprehend a concept, especially if it's being explained verbally.

I could see recording lectures being useful as hell and I know that's an accommodation people have, but beyond that I am totally lost on what else would be helpful. I very much consider my executive dysfunction to be a huge disability and it would be amazing if I had some type of help for it. I sat around yesterday staring at my computer screen trying to get myself to get some work done but you know how it goes. Incredibly frustrating and my biggest roadblock in life.

I worry if I go to the disability office they'll try to suggest accommodations I used to have, or just mistake my ADHD for the kind where you can actually get things done and not take the executive dysfunction seriously enough. Most people I know with ADHD don't have this issue to the extent I do. Frankly, I've never met anyone that really understands how debilitating it is.

Does anyone have any insights on what to ask for or even just how to explain my issue correctly? Any experience dealing with the same thing? Thanks for reading!

See I've been a procrastinator for years now but it's gotten so much worse starting from last year. During school time I'd wait until the very last minute to do my homework even if my mom kept pestering me to do it for hours. I'm in summer break and it hasn't gotten any better. I procrastinate getting out of bed in the morning most of the time. Also I wanted to do a lot during the summer but it's been a month already as I am writing this and I haven't brought myself to do any of the stuff I wanted to. I genuinely wanted to do these things guys but I can't bring myself to and it's killing me. I feel like at this point it's probably so bad I'd procrastinate using methods I was given to help with it. Tbh writing this down is also me procrastinating doing said things I wanted to do during the summer. Seriously I need a way to stop this before it starts affecting my life more than before.

so to start im a very tired person. i am tired 24/7, like walking down to the shops tires me. i cant go tos school properly because ofit. im also very sensetive, autistic, and get overstimulated SO easily. i've just started a new job at a cafe, had 1 shift, and god it was tiring and overwhelming. i have a sleepover this weekend with a girl i've met once cause she wants to take me tomy first ever party (i wanna go tho), and i made the mistake of making it seem like i accepted before knowing my work schedule. i have work saturday and sunday.

so what i need to do is: pack my stuff before work, get there at 12pm, im either working til 2 or 3 i dont know, but my friend wants me at her house at 3. when work is over, immediatley quickly swing home and grab my stuff and change. if i have time, maybe a shower? get my mum to drive 30 min to her house, pray my friends mum wont tell my mum about the fact there will be alcohol at the party, wake up the next day, go thrifting with my friend, make it back home in time for work at 4 which i think is just training stuff. then go to school on monday. and i also have school on thursday. and i have formal in less than a week which i have to go shopping for.

seriously kill me know HOW AM I GOING TO MANAGE ALL OF THIS? I AM PANICKING SO BAD! idont wanna let my friend down, i cant let my manager down either. i cant back out of either since my friends already cleaned her whole house, confirmed with her mum, gotten snacks. and my manager went out of her way to give me this job, i've had one shift and i cannot disappoint her. and then if i do all this but dont go to school my parents will be mad that i had energy to do fun stuff but not important stuff. i am also lowk in a depressive episode too. pls help.

I have a tight two-week deadline to finish a few side contracts, and the workload is massive but I absolutely cannot bring myself to start.

I’m technically on vacation from my day job, which is exactly why I took on this extra work. However, being stuck inside all day has completely stalled my productivity, grinding it to a total halt. Normally, I have no problem coming home from my 9-to-5 and doing extra work at my desk. But now that I am home all day, I can't seem to physically force myself to do anything. I thought about going to a cafe, but money is tight right now. I also considered a library, but I can never focus there because the constant movement of people around me is too distracting.

Before my vacation started, I had this ideal vision of sitting in bed, working all day with reality TV playing in the background (it sounds strange, but it actually helps me focus). I was honestly looking forward to it. Instead, I caught a minor summer cold, and now I’m just trapped in bed doing nothing.

Does anyone have any insight or productivity tips that work for you in situations like this? I would appreciate any advice you can share.

It feels like when you are trying to jump in cold water. You want to do it, you say you are going to do it, and then you just…don’t. Your brain is holding you back. Then you’re like “I’m really going to jump in now!” And you still can’t do it. Then you get mad—“I do this all the time! Every time, I enjoy jumping in the water! I know it’s not going to be that bad! What is wrong with me?!?” At some point, you just try to jump without thinking and it might work. But the feeling is the same—intention there, brain not complying because some invisible force is telling you “shit, it’s going to be reallllly cold”🥶

What are other analogies that resonate with you?

Sometimes when I face a task that I know I should get done, I first put on a background video of some kind of rail journey (Think unedited cab ride). For me, just having that video on subconsciously keeps me focused on the task as I now feel a need to finish it before the "train" reaches its final stop. I'm curious to know if anyone else has tried a similar strategy.

A person presents with a nine-year history of a progressively worsening pattern of severe procrastination, task paralysis, and shutdown that has significantly affected multiple areas of their life. Whenever they face high-stakes commitments, such as exams, mandatory courses, or clinical placements, they experience an almost complete inability to initiate action. In the past, they were often able to force themselves through these situations at the last possible moment, but over time this coping mechanism has stopped working.
Instead of beginning the required task, they become immobilized, often remaining in bed while caught in cycles of overthinking, anxiety, guilt, and harsh self-criticism. This pattern has resulted in others perceiving them as unreliable or lacking commitment, which is particularly distressing because the difficulties are not intentional.
The person is currently facing a serious academic consequence: they are four weeks into a six-week mandatory hospital nursing placement and have been unable to attend any shifts. They are therefore at immediate risk of failing the placement and potentially needing to repeat the academic year.

A particularly confusing aspect of this presentation is that the paralysis does not seem to be caused by a specific, conscious fear. Instead, it feels like an overwhelming inability to begin tasks, accompanied by a strong sense of inertia. The difficulty extends beyond obligations and also affects activities they genuinely enjoy, such as reading, walking, and running. Initiating almost any activity requires a disproportionate amount of mental effort. However, once they manage to start, they often become deeply absorbed and have difficulty disengaging.
The situation has been further complicated by the demands of balancing a full-time remote job with academic responsibilities. The person is increasingly worried about their ability to function effectively in future environments that require more structure, consistency, and in-person attendance.

Their background includes childhood trauma and multiple major losses within a three-year period, including the deaths of five family members, one of whom was their father. They have existing diagnoses of depression and anxiety and have considered whether attention-related difficulties may also be contributing, although no formal assessment has been completed.
They have been taking venlafaxine since November 2024, with a recent dose increase to 300 mg following a recurrence of symptoms. The increase initially appeared to improve mood, motivation, and energy for several weeks, but these improvements were followed by a return to severe difficulties with initiation and daily functioning. During periods of heightened stress, they also experience emotional eating and skin-focused repetitive behaviors.
Despite these struggles, the person genuinely enjoys learning, cares deeply about completing their nursing education, and wants to work in the profession. Their motivation is present, but they experience a significant gap between their intentions and their ability to take action.

From a psychological perspective, what factors or mechanisms could contribute to this type of presentation? In similar cases, what patterns have been observed, what interventions have been helpful, and what approaches might support someone experiencing this level of functional impairment?

I've been stuck in adhd paralysis for hours bc every time I get up to clean and pack I get so overwhelmed I start crying, it's the last day I don't know how to do this I've tried every single tip I know I just need to start but I try and I just get overwhelmed. My space has always been a mess and I never learned how to keep my things tidy and now it's come to haunt me idk what to do I just keep getting overwhelmed and I get back in bed.

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I got diagnosed with ADHD-I (without the hyperactivity) 5 years ago, when I was 15. I do have a hard time keeping my attention, which is not great for my studies but it doesn't actually affect my life too horribly, because I can often fill the gaps with context (or just fake it till I make it basically). The main things I struggle with are time blindness (I'm ALWAYS late), and what I'm guessing is a lack of dopamine. I have an excruciating lack of motivation and an incredibly hard time getting myself to do anything. I'm neglecting my hobbies and goals, I can't get myself to clean, I habe exercises that I should do daily which I never do, I almost never brush my teeth in the evening and struggle to do my skincare to keep my acne at bay. And I can't rid myself of my phone addiction. I regularly have more than 6 or 8 hours of screen time daily and no matter how much I try, I fail at reducing it. I tried taking medication for ADHD before (Medikinet) but there were some issues I had with it.

1. I don't think it had the effect it was supposed to have on me. It didn't feel too different from drinking a strong coffee. Which did still help a bit, because I was able to do more of the things I usually struggle to do. (I worry that that might be an indicator that I don't actually have ADHD, although ADHD explains a lot of the issues I struggle with.)

2. It only worked for a few hours. First I had the slow release version, which lasts I think about 8 hours or so. But it completely killed my appetite. Then I tried the instant release version which was better. But one of my biggest struggle with ADHD is that it's basically impossible for me to brush my teeth in the evening. This has significantly worsened my oral health and I feel completely helpless. The medication always wore off by the evening, so it didn't help my nightly routine.

3. After weeks/months of taking it irregularly and having no side effects, all of a sudden I started feeling light headed from the medication and even fainted once.

I'm not even sure what exactly my question is, I just need advice. I'm so frustrated with myself for not being able to do simple but crucial tasks and wasting most of my time. How can I know that I actually have ADHD and wasn't misdiagnosed? Does anyone have practical advice for reducing screen time, getting the motivation to actually be active during the day and doing tedious daily tasks such as exercising and brushing teeth? Should I try to get on some different medication? I don't think I can do this by my own efforts. I feel so helpless.

I feel like I’ve met my match with my job. It’s been 4 years and I can’t overcome the challenges. I’m good enough to keep it, bad enough to remain in struggle and stress purgatory.

I’m good at getting offers, so I got this leadership job a few years ago and it’s been a wild and intense ride. Corporate America, office politics, strategy, project management are areas where I don’t feel like I can instinctively “see” what to do. My task list is insane, literally constantly 100 things on it and I’m in 25 hours of meetings per week on average, and I’m expected to complete my work in 35-40 hours.

I survive by working nights and weekends at coffee shops, losing my personal time, hobbies, all to manage the workload and stress but it never feels like I’m on top. I’ve been through severe burnout, health issues due to stress, and it’s taken a toll on my mental health.

I’m also stuck - not progressing / not getting promotion. I compare myself to peers and have asked multiple confidants and managers what I can be doing differently to grow in skill and move up and I get basically no feedback. I’m so frustrated I could scream and cry if I let the emotion in too much. It’s become “the great mystery”, what is wrong with me that no one will tell me, the thing that’s holding me back. No one will tell me. I’m screaming at a brick wall.

And yet for some reason I’m struggling to give up on this job and accept that it’s an issue of me just not matching the job. I can’t give up.

Mostly seeking advice.. for any part of the above. Or empathy. Personal anecdotes.

Please don’t inform me about a new to do list app or technique unless it’s truly niche or worked for you… I think I’ve tried them all.

Tldr: What do you do when your job isn’t a match with your adhd, you’re tired of feeling not good enough, but you can’t quit?