u/rechignai

Maybe it's just me but I'm losing my mind a little.

Started a new job 3 weeks ago, still in probation, and of course this is when the brain fog comes back hard. Sat down this morning to write ONE Slack message — three sentences max — and 90 minutes later it's still a blank draft. I know exactly what to type. I just can't.

Every time I post or see someone post about this and the top reply is "have you tried a to-do list?" I want to scream into a pillow. Lists work for people who can start. The wall I'm stuck behind isn't "what to do" — I know what to do. It's the 0.5 second between knowing and moving. A list just sits there reminding me I'm failing.

So actually asking: what helps you when you're frozen? Not the textbook advice — like, the last time you really got off the couch when you couldn't, what worked? Anything. Weird tricks. Specific sensations. Random thoughts.

Trying to figure this out for myself before probation ends and I get found out.

I've been in limerence with someone for almost two years. We were never really together — a few months of something that felt like the start of everything, then she pulled back, then nothing.

I know all the advice. No contact. Don't text. Don't check her Instagram. I've read Tennov, I've read Dr. L's blog, I've journaled. I've blocked her on everything twice and unblocked her three times.

What I keep coming back to is this: I don't actually want HER. I want to finish a conversation that never finished. I want to ask the questions I never asked. I want to say the thing I rehearsed in the shower for months. And I think if I could actually say it — even once, even out loud, even to nobody — the loop would quiet down a little.

I've tried writing letters I'll never send. Helps for like 20 minutes. Then my brain goes "but you don't know how SHE would have responded" and I'm back to looping.

So I'm asking this sub: has anyone here ever tried something more than a one-way letter? A roleplay? A friend playing her? Therapy with a chair? I'm curious whether anyone has actually managed to "finish" the conversation in a way that quieted the loop.

Not looking for "go to therapy" answers (I am, it's helping but slowly). Looking for the weird stuff that actually worked.