u/TPAATLBTV

I’m heading to the Tampa Bay Area for a few days in the near future. I’m in my 30s and earlier this year started coming to the realization/accepting that I may be gay.

I live in a small town outside of Florida currently with limited opportunities. That’s why I’m hoping to take advantage of my trip to Tampa Bay and go to a gay bar or two. I’m not super into the bar scene in general, but I just want to be around people who are gay to feel more like I belong. Not really looking for a club. More of a laid back atmosphere if that exists. No big expectations.

Interested in suggestions in Tampa or St. Pete. Open to elsewhere in Pinellas county, too.

Within the past couple months, I have been starting to accept the fact that I am probably gay. I’m a mid-30s man who has been in a committed relationship with a woman for more than a decade. As stupid as it sounds, the show Heated Rivalry was what essentially woke me up and made me realize that I am likely gay.

I have been in counseling with a gay therapist for three months now. My sort-of former girlfriend knows (we still live together for financial reasons and also because I think we’re having a tough time letting go of the comfortable life we’ve built together). We sleep in separate rooms but still do other parts of life together. It’s complicated.

I’ve told a handful of other people that I am either gay or questioning my sexuality. But at work, for example, as far as they know I’m still with my girlfriend. I just find this all very confusing.

I guess I’m just struggling to figure out how to be gay. What does that mean. How can I feel like, “yes, this is who I am??” I feel stuck. Like I know I am very much attracted to men, but I feel like I don’t know how to move forward.

Anyone have advice who has gone through something similar?

EDIT - Thank you everyone, truly. This has all been so helpful. I have a lot to work on for myself and I think that’s a good natural first step while exploring who I truly am.