Am I wrong for being hurt or is my cousin wrong for ruining my chances of adopting a dog? Or is the shelter wrong for rejecting me?
I'm on a throwaway because everyone in my life knows my main and aren't familiar with this subreddit very much. But I need a third party perspective on this issue.
Lately I've (f24) been scrolling thru my local shelter's website for the past few months but I haven't found a dog that I just clicked, until now. A sweet little boarder collie mix. When I met her, I instantly fell in love with her and I knew that she's going to become popular so I know I have to fill out the adoption papers quickly. She's practically perfect for any home, especially mine. She's a well trained 2 year old who is energetic of course for her breed but fortunately she keeps that energy only outside. Inside she just wants to cuddle and relax which is perfect for someone who works from home with a good pay and just recently received inheritance from my deceased grandpa so I know I can afford to take care of her. I live in a 850 sq ft apartment but she's only about 37lbs and have a huge dog park just a couple blocks away so I know I have the perfect environment for her. All I need are good references.
I figured I put in one of my friends' and one of my cousins' (f29) because I've occasionally petsit for them before. It wasn't until I got rejected that I realize choosing my cousin was the wrong choice. I asked the manager why I was rejected and she told me that my cousin brought up my boyfriend (m26). We dated when we were in high school but broke up when he graduated and this past year we've been getting closer and dating again. My boyfriend did a stupid mistake when we were teens that involve a neighbors' boxer at that time. Boxer was ok, it was nothing serious. But since my cousin brought this up, manager did both criminal record checks on me (I came clean) and my boyfriend (he has minor infraction) thus they consider me unfit to adopt because of the company I keep.
I confronted my cousin why did she think it was a good idea to bring up a mistake that someone else did when we were kids. She said that she and the rest of the family were worried that my boyfriend is back in my life again and that there's something about him that just makes me lose all my morals. I said we're all adults now and it's unfair that all of you still refuse to get to know him now. He's a great guy now with a good paying job and it's wrong of her to punish me just because I'm dating someone she hates. It's also unfair that you ruin my chances on a dog that I truly wanted and loved. She said that she was just being honest and in the end it's the shelter's judgment on me if I would be a good owner or not.
Still, their judgment wasn't just on me and that was based on a mistake that happened years ago that my cousin brought up when there was no reason to.
Edit-A lot of people asking about the boxer. I already replied to someone this so I'm just copying what I already said. Also the minor infraction has nothing to do with what happened with the dog. It was a completely different incident and a nonviolent crime.
When he was a junior, Boyfriend's neighbor asked him and his family to take care of their boxer due to a family emergency one time. The boxer was allergic to metal. I don't know it it's all of them or specific kind but neighbor only use plastic bowls for him. Boyfriend thought neighbor was crazy and that having a metal allergy isn't real so he decided to feed the dog with a metal bowl without anyone looking to "prove" that neighbor is crazy. He said the dog looked fine when he finished eating but apparently when the neighbor came home the dog's nose started bleeding? (are nose bleeds a normal reaction to a metal allergy?) She accused boyfriend's parents but boyfriend confessed but he kept telling her he truly forgot about the allergy (he didn't, he was lying) and I guess she believed him but parents had to pay for the vet bill and they ground him for the whole summer (had to only work, no hanging out with me or friends whatsoever).