u/TakeItEasy3223

Okay I have a question. I code for a remote coding company that contracts with several different health systems, and recently management at my company started really micromanaging us. They used to really only care if you met the amount of charts the client wants per day, but now they want us coding every single second and they want all of those seconds accounted for. And they’ve recently threatened us stating that clients are actively tracking our coding time within their health information systems (specifically for me it would be Epic and 3M HDM) and if they do not match perfectly with our time sheets we submit, they consider it “fraudulent billing” my question is: can the clients truly run reports on us showing accurately how long we were in the systems, and also, if the time doesn’t match what we report on our company timesheets, is that truly fraud if we are completing the number of charts we say we are completing?

Thanks in advance. All of this micromanaging is really getting out of hand and is distracting me from my actual job.

I’ll go first. We were grocery shopping. I picked up a bag of apples. My husband says, “We don’t need those. All we do is throw them away when they go bad.” This irritated me, so I bought them, and for the last 3 days I’ve been passively aggressively eating 2 apples per day so I can make a big show of throwing away the empty bag. 😂😂😂

I have been on a really focused, very serious path to “self improvement” or “self realization” or even “awakening” if you wanna be spiritual about it, for literally about 10 years (I’m a 33f). I’ve read all the self help books from Eckhart Tolle to books about meditation, exercise, psychology, attachment theory, emotional intelligence—you name it, I’ve probably read it and then tried to implement it in the most literal way possible in my life, and it’s like i just never felt like i could “get there.” I was always falling short, still feeling like i needed to fix myself in every way possible. I didn’t accept myself at all, and still struggle with it to this day.

I’ve also become obsessed with my mental health to a point where it has destroyed my mental health. I’ve tried antidepressants and therapy. I’ve tried all the supplements. But i still just feel like im lacking, like im not happy enough. I honestly don’t think there’s a pill that exists that could tamper down the constant mental chatter I have going on 24/7.

I try to exercise, eat somewhat well, sleep well, meditate from time to time, learn emotional regulation skills, and just try to feel good and happy, but I woke up today and realized I’m still me. Still the same. Nothing has changed other than maybe my body looks a little better because I’ve been exercising? But I still struggle with depression (albeit pretty high functioning depression,) anxiety and just generally feeling like I’m not living up to my potential. It’s like I’ve been trying for 10 years to change my whole personality.

Well, I’m over it. I don’t want to improve myself anymore, I don’t want to keep running myself into the ground mentally to try and force some perfect result. All I want is to live my life and be content. I don’t even care to be HAPPY anymore, just content and at peace.

I don’t feel like that right now, and maybe I never will because this is just how I am, but I’m at least gonna stop trying so hard to force something that isn’t me. I just wanna wave the white flag and move on.

Anyone else reached a point of “self improvement fatigue?”