Insane Italian wedding
Ok so my best friend got engaged in June 2026 and is planning a destination wedding in a small town south of Florence in May 2027. I have been helping her look at venues and the entire time I’ve told her “you can do whatever you want, you just can’t be mad when people don’t come”. She had been toying with the idea of making it no kids. I have a 3 year old who I would not be comfortable leaving to go to another country. She also wants to force everyone to stay at the villa and I again said “if you do that just make sure the rates are comparable to the hotels in the area”.
We’ll fast forward a couple of weeks, she tells me she booked a venue and it will be $250 per adult per night. I’m the sole provider in my family so with flights + that cost, it would be about $5k for just my family to go to this wedding. I told her I think that’s too expensive for me and I would be there if I can stay elsewhere and just attend her ceremony and reception.
She was super upset and said “that’s not the point, I want everyone together and you can’t find anything cheaper in Europe” which is BS because most of the hotels in that town are under $200 a night total, not per person. She is passing through her expense onto her guests which is so tacky and rude but she doesn’t see it that way at all. I’d be fine to not go, but she was so upset when I threw that out as an option because I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid (again added cost for a specific dress and bachelorette party etc).
The villa is inclusive of breakfasts and two dinners plus drinks for a 3 day event plus some pizza party but I don’t value those things at all. I don’t drink alcohol so there’s zero value there and I can for sure feed my family for way less per day. It feel so out of touch to be asking me to spend that amount with zero other option and then being mad when I offer to not attend. She just kept saying “you’re well off, you can afford it”. That’s not the point, I shouldn’t be told how to spend my money even if I have it. Am I wrong?