The Way I Yearn for You
The way I yearn for you is in a way that tears me apart and rips me to shreds. Somehow you have integrated yourself into every fiber of my being. You are my first thought when I wake up and the last before I close my eyes to sleep. I have many sleepless nights when you are gone because my soul feels the need to be right next to yours. I hate this. I hate how much control you have over me. I hate that you are all I talk about. Every song reminds me of you. Why? What have you done to me? Do you feel the same as I do? Do we interact in the heavens? On a spiritual level, you make me feel alive and seen. Maybe that’s why I long for you so deeply. If you told me you were ready to leap off a cliff, I would go with you so long as I was by your side. I haven’t felt this way for anyone ever. It hurts. I have an ache in my heart that won’t stop. It’s everlasting. I truly don’t know how to feel. I indulge in addiction so as to stop thinking about you so much. Cingulomania. I feel it so strongly. Every waking moment is you. Your name. What are you up to? When can I see you again? Maybe I shouldn’t have told you how I felt… I think this would all be brushed away if I had kept to myself. I made it real by voicing it. It could’ve stayed a thought. But at the same time, I don’t regret it. I feel it deeply and it would’ve driven me crazier had I kept it to myself.