Need advice on how to handle my kids
I've been caring for my husband since 2017. He has Alzheimer's. I have hit hard burnout. I recently had brain surgery for NPH less than a month ago. I've had the brain aneurysm from hell at the basilar apex from stress in October 2022. It was finally fixed in 2024 but it took 4 tries which meant 4 general anesthesias in fewer than 2 years.
I was attacked by my husband in 2023 (I think) so a handyman built an enclosure that I call my area. Same bedroom as my husband.
We had ear mites and fleas in the rescue because I have a rescue dog who goes potty in the back yard. It's Texas.
I own a big historic house, 5 bedroom, 2 bath. For the past 30 years I repaired the systems, electrical, plumbing, sewer lines, etc I really love my house.
The problem I'm having is my kids (37 and 39), are ignoring me, not talking to me unless it's unavoidable. They say I yell at them and treat them like garbage.
When my son was fired from his job a couple of years ago, I hired him to help me care for his dad. He told me what he needed to earn in order to pay his bills.
My daughter moved in when she needed a place when the relationship with other roommates went south. She is a hoarder.
She has a good job and is an early riser so she can take me to Dr appointments in the morning and son takes me in the afternoon.