u/Tatsuroguts

My kid is 11, and is a pretty understanding and great kid. Sometimes there are moments where I can’t seem to balance certain aspects of my autism with being a parent, like explaining well enough that I have certain routines that I need to do a certain way and very much need to do them alone when possible, especially in the morning I need a good thirty minutes atleast to do my routine and then I jump into the morning and spend time with them.
It’s more than fine during the week since they’re at school but the weekends make me so nervous. Even my wife being home on her days off makes me nervous because I feel like she still doesn’t fully understand how rigid my routines can be. I worry my kid takes it personally at times no matter how much I explain it just helps to set me up for a good day. And now they have all of these holiday breaks coming up and I can feel how anxious I am just thinking about it. I struggle to advocate for myself as a whole, but especially at home I feel a good amount of guilt.
They know what autism is and has a friend with it so I guess I just wonder sometimes if it would click more for them if I admitted that I have autism rather than vague explanations, because explaining to them is almost an everyday thing at this point since they’re seem to not always take what I tell them seriously and forget.

What are some tips and tricks that help you to hold down a job while having iih??

I’ve been out of a job due to my iih for a good minute now. On a whim I applied for a ton of jobs, including a part time job (20-30 hours a week for awful pay but it seems like a more relaxed customer service job than most), and got the job offer today!

I’m excited that they picked me but I’d imagine there’s still a lot of standing, moving, being in bright lighting for long periods, all that jazz. I get so exhausted and sick after an hour or two of trying to exist normally. I hit a wall, shut down physically, and struggle to talk to an extent and have to lay down in a dark room with no light or sound for periods of time, and the rest of my day can be me trying to recover. My memory and processing has also gotten a lot worse and I have such awful light sensitivity. If I push past it I end up pretty nauseous and light headed, my voice starts to go out, I feel muscle weakness, and my vision can get pretty messed up. My mental health also hasn’t been the best when my symptoms act up (I’m still in a stage of grief and anger, so when I struggle to complete simple tasks, or need extra help I end up feeling pretty shitty about myself and have a tough time hiding how rough I feel and at worst can have anxiety attacks)

I made mistakes in the past with being too honest about health issues to employers but am not sure where the line is on what to disclose or if it’s smart to, I’ve magically had hours cut or gotten fired twice in the past saying it was for other reasons that didn’t ever really add up at times. I did mention mornings don’t work for me and said it was due to child care and not that mornings are hell so I atleast don’t have to worry there. I usually really prefer transparency but was given advice to stop mentioning it in the interview unless asked, so it never came up and I feel weird about it. I want to be able to do a good job while also not completely burning my mental health and body out and having anxiety attacks about disappointing myself or my employer/coworkers.

I’m also still not on medication or concrete treatment plan for the iih currently, so maybe once that happens working won’t be so rough but I’m hoping to still accept this job in the meantime if I can.

Long story short, what are some things you do to set yourself up for success when working?? Bonus points if anyone wants to let me know whether or not I’m being delusional for accepting this job offer??

My wife and I have been having a really hard time knowing what’s the best route for our 11 year old son. They have very limited access to the internet right now, including YouTube, their phone, and have an app on their phone that blocks adult content and anything we don’t approve of etc. after reading studies and seeing how much more agitated/depressed they seem when they have a lot of access.

we’ve been trying to learn more about sexual education and don’t want to make the same decisions our parents made when it come to teaching us. I was given no information around sex whereas my wife’s mom was, if anything, wayyy too open. And we both experienced csa so we may be a bit more worried about childhood development and sex than most.
We don’t want our son to feel ashamed of their feelings and curiosities around sex, masterbation, and their body and have considered trying to find a way to explore their feelings in a controlled/safe environment. Like a safe website/option for them that we approve of rather than seeking it out however they can because it’s being kept away from them and possibly stumbling across things that may send the wrong message, make them addicted, talking to people or bots online, things like that.

We have had conversations the last few years around their body being theirs and that no one should ask to see them naked, touch them, how consent is important always, and that being curious or having feelings is normal and not weird, etc.

I’m worried that we’re either being too proactive or missing something entirely that other parents know when it comes to giving their kids conversations or safe outlets.

Updated
TLDR: are there any safe websites for an 11 year old that helps them to explore explicit nsfw content while they’re learning about attraction and their body? Or should we just avoid the situation entirely and just educate them on the science side while letting them find their own ways of exploring nsfw content??