u/TattedPatriot1998

I need outside perspective because I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting anymore.

For context: my sister has had a long-standing habit of sleeping in my room and using my stuff/space as 8 was staying with my long time boyfriend for a while. Weeks ago, I explicitly told her I was no longer okay with it and asked her to stop sleeping in my room since it was always a wreck whenever I came home. This wasn’t vague. It was a direct boundary.

Fast forward to sunday.

I come home, go to walk into my room, and there is a completely naked man I have NEVER met before in my bed.

To make it worse, both of them currently have two untreated STIs, (not my circus not my monkeys) which made the whole situation feel even more violating and disgusting to me knowing they were in my bed and around my personal space.

I’m not even really mad at the guy because I genuinely think she probably told him it was her room or acted like it was normal. The issue is that it was MY room, MY bed, and I had already told her weeks ago to stop using my room entirely.

She never actually apologized either. Instead, she basically just gave an excuse about how they moved into my room because of the fans after she got sick. That honestly made it feel worse, because it didn’t acknowledge the actual issue at all. It felt less like accountability and more like she was trying to justify ignoring my boundary.

What’s making me lose it isn’t even just this one event. It’s the constant pattern:

• sleeping in my room after being told not to,
• leaving her things in there,
• using my TV/accounts,
• treating my room like shared space,
• and me constantly being expected to be the understanding/flexible one.

Even after this happened, I was finding random evidence of people using my room/accounts and it just made me realize how little privacy I actually have.

I didn’t scream or throw her stuff outside or anything. I calmly told my dad what happened, told him I planned to install a lock on my room, and specifically asked him not to make it a huge family fight yet because I wanted to handle it privately.

Right now I’ve:

• stripped and washed all my bedding,
• removed her belongings from my room,
• and decided my room will stay locked whenever I’m not home.
• installing a camera for my door.

Part of me feels guilty because I know it’ll inconvenience her if she wants something from my room while I’m gone, but another part of me is exhausted from constantly being the one inconvenienced so everyone else can stay comfortable.

This honestly feels like the straw that broke the camel’s back after years of one-sided respect and family boundary issues.

Am I overreacting by locking my room and emotionally distancing myself at this point?

Additional Info: The guy is my sister’s situationship, its messy but one of her friends popped for 2 different STI’s and was with him while he and my sister were on a break and my sister found this out after already being back with him. Sorry for not elaborating more on that didn’t think to in original post but can see how it reads weird without that info now!

ALSO: I pay rent monthly to go towards the mortgage so it is my room, whether I’m there 1 time a month or 7 days a week.