Child support guilt
I divorced my ex for cheating in 2012. It was finalized in 2013. I won by default because he didn’t show (I asked for primary custody, he would see her on his days off which at the time were the weekends) He was also court ordered to pay $100/mo in child support. Shortly after, I closed the child support case because his gf at the time forced a strict 50/50 schedule so I wasn’t entitled to any support. Fast forward to now, I think I’ve only gotten child support for maybe 6 months from him. Our daughter is now 17.
All my family and friends think I’ve been way too lenient. I’ve always tried to keep the peace because he would threaten to take me to court to fight for custody if I asked for child support. For years he was much more well off than me so I was terrified he could hire a fancy attorney and win. And I’d lose the most important thing to me— my daughter. I’ve also let him claim her on his taxes every year even though for the last I don’t even know how may heats, my fiance and I have been her primary caregivers 99%. He only sees her 4 days a month (every other weekend). He does help every once in a while for bigger purchases like her prom dress, but does not send money regularly to help financially support her. I have the habit of letting people take advantage of me to some degree if it means to avoid confrontation and keep the peace. However like I said, everyone close to me says I should get him for child support for this last year before she turns 18.
Why do I feel so guilty? Another thing too is someone told me recently that since the $100/mo court order was never changed to $0, he may be owe me arrears for over 10 years, since 2013. Is this true? I’d like to open the child support case again and update it but also don’t wanna ruin his life if he’s gonna have to owe thousands.
Thanks for reading . Idk what to do