u/TaxPsychological6705

it’s been two weeks of hardly any sleep, hardly any food, hardly any water… and he’s living his best life :( i miss him so badly my nervous system is completely shot. the second i pull away he comes closer. i was transparent about my diagnoses and was waiting for therapy but he kept breaking up with me once a week. i hate my splits i hate what i put him thru and i just need to let go but i want him. i’ve been letting him use me for sex just so i can see him. im 28 and a mother. how embarrassing to let a 25 year old use me like this as if we weren’t holding each other to sleep every night. when does it get better

can this behavior be corrected? i have broken several of my now ex boyfriends belongings over the past two months. a necklace, a golf club, gaming monitor, tires. the splits went from mean words and lashing out verbally to me literally damaging property when i felt unheard in arguments. we have broken up since and rightfully so. i obviously am miserable with that but i am aware of what i did and can’t take it back now no matter how much i love him. i finally got accepted into therapy after months of waiting because i called and was honest with them about what i have been doing. i have been doing this diagnosed but untreated for a year. that obviously must change immediately. my question is, can this behavior be fixed or am i just an abuser for life