I don't know how to handle bad days at work.
I'm 22, newly diagnosed with Autism and ADHD as of January. I'm on a low generic adderall dose for the adhd, and generic lexapro for anxiety/depression. I've been working at Target for over 2 years now, since before I got diagnosed.
I've started trying to mask less and make stuff easier for me at work with earplugs and fidgets. Unfortunately now, because I know what a day with low sensory overload feels like, bad days now feel even worse than they used to. I feel so helpless. I know what I need to do to feel better on bad days, but it requires not being at work: darkness, under a weighted blanket, with a youtube video playing in the background. I've already shortened my shifts a while ago from 8 hours to 6 hours, and work 4 days a week instead of 5. But somehow, it still feels like too much on my bad days.
I don't know what to tell my fiance (allistic, m22) either; we live together with 3 cats, and I'm embarrassed I can't work as much as he can, even though I know it's not technically my fault. I also feel like a failure because I'm not earning as much as him. We need to save for a car, for our wedding next year, for a house later, and kids further down the line. He seems so disappointed whenever I bring up calling out of work for a day because I can tell it's going to be a bad sensory day, and I know it's because we need the money. Having a limited amount of hours I can call out sick and still get paid for it doesn't help. I don't know what to do. I wish I was better at this. I wish I wasn't like this sometimes. I wish work was easier.