We're Subletting from Niles while he's at the Shangri-La
My wife and I have relocated to a ranch in Colorado, and upon learning the name of the fifth wheel we'd be residing in, I experienced a brief, delicious flush of hope. The manufacturer has christened it, with what I can only assume was a straight face, "the Montana" — a name so grand, so sweeping, so evocative of open vistas and rugged self-reliance, that I permitted myself to imagine a gift-wrapping room. A panic room, for the inevitable range fire or rogue livestock incursion. At minimum a mini library, with the main library merely a doorway away.
There is neither. There is, I have now confirmed, five separate "slide-outs" — a phrase I am reasonably certain does not appear anywhere in Niles Crane's vocabulary, and never will.
It's equally as troubling the amount of people who are shockingly unfamiliar with the show and stare at us blankly when we describe it in our best approximation of a Crane impersonation.
My wife doesn't think it's as funny as I do and does her best to do an on-camera Maris impersonation when I bring it up.