u/TeenOlive

Does anyone else feel this? In every group setting it feels like I automatically become the emotional anchor. When things get heated or someone is upset everyone looks to me. They expect me to mediate or soothe or just be the steady presence.

It’s not that I mind helping. I genuinely want to support people. But it takes a toll. It’s like I have to constantly regulate my own emotions and then take on everyone else’s too. I have to stay composed even when I am feeling just as stressed or anxious as they are.

Afterwards I feel completely drained. Like someone pulled the plug on my internal battery. It is hard to explain to people because they just see me being helpful and calm. They don't see the silent effort it takes to hold all that space. And then to come home and have no one to do that for me.

Sometimes I just want to yell or cry or be completely unreasonable without having to worry about how it will affect everyone else. Just once. To not be the strong one. To let someone else carry the weight for a change.

It makes me wonder if I am enabling it in some way. By always stepping up maybe I am preventing others from developing their own coping mechanisms. Or maybe I am just wired this way. A silent burden I carry.

Has anyone found a way to set boundaries around this without feeling selfish? Or to recharge after these kinds of interactions? I am just so tired of being the rock all the time.

We’re getting ready to list our house in about a month and have run into a bit of a dilemma. We inherited this house from my elderly aunt and while we love the location and bones of the place it definitely has a... particular smell. My aunt was a cat lady in the truest sense of the word. At one point she had seven cats living here.

We've had the carpets professionally cleaned and replaced some of the subfloor where the damage was obvious. We also painted and aired the house out for weeks. The smell is definitely better. But on a humid day or if the house has been closed up for a bit you can still catch a faint whiff of cat. It's not overwhelming but it's there.

Should we disclose this upfront on the seller disclosure? Or just see if buyers notice? Our agent thinks we should just let it be and let them discover it if they do. She says over-disclosing can scare people off. But I feel a bit guilty if someone moves in and is then hit with the smell they didn't anticipate. Any advice?