Struggling with partner’s deployment
Hi everyone! Rant incoming!! My partner is Air Force Reserves and his base was activated back in February. He’s been overseas since. This is all new for me, this is my first loved one who is in the military. Just looking for a space to vent with anyone who is going through the same thing..
Back in February we were on a trip to London. Half way through the trip he got a call from his supervisor saying that his base was being activated and had to report in a week. We were really bummed about the situation but could still enjoy the rest of the trip and get him ready to go knowing we had some time. Fast forward 36 hours later and we are boarding our flight home. He gets a call saying things changed and he has to report in 24 hours. Meanwhile.. we are still in London. He lives about an 8 hour drive from his base (another story there) so after a 9 hour flight we had about 3 hours to pack up his items for what was supposed to be 90 days, and then begin the drive, stopping over halfway where I live (we are long distance) so he could sleep and finish the drive in the morning.
When he left I was really sad for a good while, but was doing fine as we got closer to that 90 day mark… I’ve been able to keep myself busy with work, friends, and marathon training which has helped a ton. Here we are, five months later, and I am starting to feel sad again. We still have no word when he’s coming back. I feel like I am mourning all of the amazing things we had planned for the rest of this year. My brother is getting married at the end of the month which was I was so excited to celebrate together. I am also traveling to Australia for my marathon/30th birthday trip, which we were going to do together. It looks like he might be missing all of those events and I am so bummed.
We both know that being unexpectedly deployed is something to expect being Reserves, and ultimately this is what he signed up for. But wow it just sucks dealing with so much unknown. I think I would be feeling better if he was busy during his deployment, but according to him, he barely works. When he’s scheduled to come in, they usually tell him to not come in or he’s off 4/7 days of the week. The base where is staying is also overflowed, so all the Reserve folks are staying in hotels near the base. All of this just feels like a waste.
Anyways, appreciate anyone who read through this. Any advice on how to make through the rest of this unknown time is appreciated. For anyone who has a partner deployed and is struggling, I see you. ❤️