r/MilitarySpouse

I’m wondering if anyone has any career suggestions. I recently finished my BS in Health Information Management, and we’ll be leaving our current duty station in about three months and moving to Polk.

I’m really open to anything, honestly just looking to get my foot in the door somewhere. My biggest concern is finding something that can be remote, since I’ve heard that job opportunities around Polk are almost nonexistent. I’d love to hear what careers/companies anyone recommend! Any advice is appreciated!

Sort of out of the blue, a few months ago, my(f21) bf(20) (have been tg 3 1/2 years) told me he wanted to join the AF for the benefits for his future, ours, and our future children. He has a good paying job, but he does not want to work blue collar until he’s 60, which I understand. He has already began the process by talking to his recruiter, now studying for ASVAB. I am trying to be as supportive as I can, however everything I see and those who talk to me about it have been so negative. “A tale as old as time” or “we will see how that goes”. I guess because we are so young and have to do LDR, as I am in nursing school for 3 more years in our home state. (Can’t just leave the program and pick up elsewhere) and honestly that really gets me. I love him and see him as more than just my bf, he says we are going to get married, and I try to believe him and believe that it will all work out, but it’s so hard. And then he says he hopes he’s stationed in Japan… and I guess that just gets me too. I was upset about it and he was like why would you not want me to follow my dreams? And it’s not that I don’t want him to follow his dreams, I just thought his dreams were something totally else. I guess he is just realizing now what he wants(given we are young) but how can he realistically want that and us. I just am so overwhelmed. Like I truly pictured us married and living together and now idk what will become. I don’t want the last 3 1/2 years to be for nothing. We have been through so much together and I truly have always believed he is my person. Am I selfish? Am I naive? Am I too in love with him? Is there anyone who has been in a situation like this? And I know even if he wants to go to Japan, it could very likely not happen, but just the fact he is okay with being so far from me for so long, SUCKS. Like what about us?? Idk. Any advice is appreciated.

My husband has been having a year and a half long affair. He just made WO1. I just found out and I am two months postpartum.

I don’t have a lot of evidence besides I have people looking her up because I know enough information right now to find her. She’s brand new enlisted into the army.

He’s mostly blamed this on me. I found her on Instagram and messaged her and he’s been leaving to talk on the phone with her for hours at a time and o have to take care of the kids and the house duties completely by myself.

Yesterday he took my son to soccer practice and called her and talked to her the whole way there in front of him. My son asked if daddy was going to find a new house because he told her he was leaving. He said daddy was arguing with a girl the whole way home.

That was like the last straw for me. I want him to be able to support his children but I am like 99% sure I am going to his command at this point after that.

So for some back ground me and my fiancée are about to move to where his training will be in about a month and a half. But since his training will take about 8 months total and we will be moving across the country and I would like to have our wedding right after he graduates and close to where I’m from because all of my family is there. But we have an issue because his family lives no where near mine and for some culture reasons they’re asking if we can do 2 weddings to make it easier for his side of the family since the original wedding would be more catered to my side of the family. I’m not against the idea of it at all but how am I supposed to plan a wedding around dates that I can’t even commit to because we have no idea what his graduation date is or what he can get off for, let alone for 2 weddings in very different locations. How have any military spouses planned a “last minute” wedding? What should my expectations be?

Also important to mention that either way we will be legally married in a week or 2 but we both just want to have at least a semi-normal wedding.

Any advice would be helpful.

My husband will be joining USCG this winter and I can't find specific answers on the Military Childcare website, and I feel it might be too early to bother the MCCYN phone line since he is not officially active duty yet.

Our recruiter said we can secure the Northwest district for our first PCS, which is what we want since all our family lives up here and it would be a better transition for us. The only concern is that some of these bases are remote (Neah Bay) or just isolated with extremely limited childcare centers. My only concern is that I won't find a daycare center that accepts MCCYN, since I know there aren't any onsite CDC.

What exactly happens if you can't find a daycare center that accepts MCCYN in your new location? Do you just suck it up and pay the full price of whatever daycare is available for that area until you move again? Can they help in any way in these situations?

Note: I work for the FAA and will be the highest income provider while my husband is a recruit, so quitting my job to be the SAHP is not an option. Also to add, I'm expecting us to be stationed in some kind of isolated area during his career. Thankfully I get to work remote and I understand this is the nature of the USCG, it's just daycare that's worrying me!

So my husband is gone atm and says he is getting $53 a day for per diem but the meals and incidentals for his location come out to $104 online and showed $107 rate on his orders. Is there any reason why it would be less than half of it instead? He is paying for all of his own meals and money has been really tight at home.

I got a DD1172 form from my husband in basic training but they have both of our last names wrong. i know why his is wrong but mine shouldn't be, do i still book an appointment or wait to see if i get a Sunday call and have him fix it. is the 90 day thing on there like a time limit?

My wife is currently at AIT she's currently training to be a cook. Asked her about graduation. She doesn't want me to attend because she thinks I'm wasting money for a one hour presentation. Ask her about if she'll have any type of leave or a couple days that we could spend together after her training. I was told that she would have no days off and that we couldn't see each other. As far as BAH I haven't been receiving anything since early July because everything is deposited in her account. She said that she is unhappy and doesn't wanna be together. And when I pressed her about it, I asked her if she wanted a divorce. She said that she wants to work things out, but everything's been one sided. I know that the schooling is hard and i'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but my gut is telling me one thing. And I just don't know. Because if that's a road we're gonna go down, I need to know what I need to do as a spouse.

I’m a soon to be military spouse and once we move when my husband gets stationed I will likely have to quit my job. I have no problem with this and look forward to my unemployment 😂. We do not currently have any kids and I’ve just been thinking about what a great opportunity this will be for me to work on my passions that I haven’t been able to pursue as much with a job. I’ve always wanted to write a book but I just haven’t had the time and I couldn’t really quit my job to just go for that because it’s not something that makes money right away. Another thing on my list is to get more fluent in another language and get more study time.

So I’m curious if there are other spouses that have pursued passions while unemployed or just to fill time while spouse is in military and if so, what were those things you did?

So I’m a divorced father of 3, (by law only two but I’ve been raising the oldest since before he was 1). My fiancé has decided she has wanted to join the air force, which I fully support. But I know I likely wouldn’t be able to bring my kids with me, has anyone else done this before? How did it go?

My ex wife has already stated she will try to go for full custody of the children (I’ve debated on fighting it, I grew up traveling with my parents in the military, I think it would be a great thing for my kids too) I would do what my father did and find work on base or be a stay at home dad until the kids have gotten used to the change. They are ages 2 and 11, as for my oldest, who will be 14 soon, I can’t legally fight for as he’s technically not my son. I love my boys and currently work a job that has me traveling everywhere M-F and home Friday nights/Saturday mornings only to fly out again Monday and we have a current 50/50 custody. So it’s not like I’m present much as it sits (kids want fancy toys, traveling brings home fancy toy money) and she plans to drop it down to every other weekend within a year.

Is it expected for spouses to go, or is it usually okay for the husband to attend alone?

Just wondering what’s normal in your experience.

Hello! My husband is currently training to be an officer in the Army and informed me there will be a formal before his graduation! I was wondering if any of you ladies have attended this event and what you wore! I want to make sure I’m respectful and not do too much/too little. I’ve obviously never been to an event like this and I don’t know anyone who has.

Thanks! :)

I fell in love with our current location. I stupidly pictured the rest of our lives here and I feel gutted that we are leaving. I understand that it is expected and I knew that this would happen but it's easy to forget about the possibility of leaving when it's not really a topic you think about. Plus, we are about to PCS to somewhere I don't like and I'm generally not looking forward to it. My SO is also talking about maybe leaving the military and I have this dread picturing us being stuck in that general area while we figure out their career outside of the military. Luckily or sadly, I haven't really made friends or strong connections to anyone here but I have made strong connections to places that I love. I'm hoping the new location will be temporary or that I fall in love with it.

How do you "let go" or "move on" from places you love? Especially when you know there's almost no possibility of ever moving back and you're the one responsible for going through everything to get ready to move?

I'd like to add that I think another reason I'm struggling is because the move date isn't set and we don't have a new place to live at yet (we absolutely won't be living on base at that location). I guess I'm just not a "go with the flow" type of person that can excel in situations like this.

Milspo’s of Reddit, I really, really need you.
Just like I’m sure yours is for you, my service member, my husband, is my best friend, and has been for the last 14 years. We just got married in June and he left for training shortly after. Shortly after my much younger friends stopped talking to me (wildly different points/interests in life I suppose). I’ve been horribly lonely, bored, and struggling with my mental and physical health.
I’ll get to see him for a day when he graduates before AIT and then alone again. So I want to learn how to get through. I want to adapt, I want to gain skills. Patching the sad bored wound has gotten me this far….. what do you do?
Sending love, respect, honor and best wishes for you and your service member.

How did you all find out your spouse was cheating on you? My husband has been acting weird this week and something seems off. He's at AIT rn and he's starting to text me less and less and doesn't say good night anymore and never asks me about me and how my day was or anything in my life. I've told him things like I'm not feeling too well and he won't ask any follow up questions and won't check in later and ask if I'm feeling better. Like yesterday he only sent me 3 texts and 2 of them were about the weather. He also turned off he location and when I asked him about it he made a stupid excuse about battery and icons. And then when I asked him if he's going to keep it off because of the battery he said no was just checking something but it's been almost a whole week and he still hasn't turned it on. He also stopped sending me meme and reels which I know sounds silly but its something he usually does on a daily basis. So now idk if I'm overthinking everything or something is up but I feel like he might be cheating. Is there any way I can find out? Like how did you all find out if your spouse cheated on you?

I’m 26, recently married to an active-duty service member, and getting ready to move to Germany with him.

I’ve worked at a credit union for the past 7 years, so most of my experience is in banking/finance, lending, and customer service. I currently have no college education, but I’m interested in going back to school and possibly transitioning into IT/tech.

My biggest goal is to find a career that can eventually be remote, flexible, and portable, especially since military life may require us to move again.

I’m open to IT, fintech, cybersecurity, business/data analysis, or even something I haven’t considered yet. I’m also open to degrees and certifications.

If you were in my position, what career paths would you look into? I’d especially love to hear from military spouses or anyone who transitioned into tech without a degree.

I’m getting married in about 2 weeks and I currently live in Texas so I’ll be moving to NC around the end of October, I was wondering from anyone who’s young (18-21), how did you transition from teenage life (jobs, responsibilities,etc.) to adulthood? I know it’s kind of a dumb question but I’ve only worked at places that didn’t make a ton of money and were basically just side jobs while I went to school and i want to get a job that makes decent enough money without needing degrees and experience. I do plan on going to college but I just graduated high school and I didn’t want to start school here and then move to NC soon after, and the biggest issue for me is I spent enough time in retail and fast food and it doesn’t make enough money for any kind of savings or stability for myself independently, god forbid anything bad happen, but it’s still a big worry of mine. I know I can’t make thousands of dollars but I need something that will be consistent and reliable money.

If anyone has any recommendations I’d love to hear it, and I absolutely don’t mind having to get certificates or take classes and tests, just mainly needing something I can achieve in a few months or less so I can start my journey to achieving a career through college while simultaneously making enough money.

Baby mil spouse here. We moved 40 minutes away from my hometown for our first year of marriage and we moved to NC while I was pregnant with our first. It was the DITY move from hell and my husband was at a 7 week long course before we moved so packing g was left to me.

We had our first baby in April and his workload had increased and we’re just at a shitty base in general so most of the baby’s care is left to me other than bedtime.

We’re trying to plan for our next baby and originally thought we’d try when our oldest is a year so we can have another before we move again in ‘28. But with all the stress of his upcoming promotion and this base I kind of want to wait till we’re moved and settled to start trying.

The options are basically move with a newborn, move pregnant (not dity this time) or wait till we’re at our new station. Help!

Long story short, my husband retires in little over a year. We currently live in Mass and I love the area, school system, opportunities, ect. The only downside is cost of living. My spouse and I are both from Kentucky and have had zero desire to go back to live. We also were based in North Carolina and that’s where our hearts are. As the time comes to make permanent plans and I feel so overwhelmed. We have three children (10,8,2 m). The kids want to move back to Ky because of family, they crave thy time, plus my mother is getting older and I feel guilty. On the other hand, we love NC and have talked about moving there and even looked at houses. I do love living in the Northeast and can see us there forever. My struggle is do we stay in Mass for stability and all the perks… move to NC to live close to the ocean , which is my dream … or do we go back to Ky so the kids have family? I feel all over the place with guilt and what is best for the kids overall. I knew retirement would be an adjustment , but it feels so heavy. I’d love any kind of advise for those who have gone through this.