u/KiddoMagi13

In 2016 my grandfather was murdered. He had been in a relationship with a woman of a similar age for a year or two, she seemed quiet but never too out of place. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer related to lifelong illness, and not long after altered his will and such of the like legally after not doing so since my infancy, about 25 years. Half of my inheritance was suddenly legally hers, and they were not married. Less than a month after the paperwork was filed, he was found nearly deceased in his home with suspicious back and neck injuries which he later succumbed to at the hospital. Because of his age, terminal condition, and pre-existing illness, we were advised that it is fully within our right and ability to pursue legal actions, but it would be extremely difficult to prove intent. We discovered a few weeks after his home and land sold that she took her portion of the money and disappeared.
We can’t prove it, I’m very sure the name she gave us and him was fake, and there’s really nothing I can do about it.
Rest in Peace, Grandpa. Thank you for your service to my mom, my country and its Air Force, and more than anything in the world, me. I wouldn’t be who I am and wouldn’t have access to the healthcare I so desperately need hadn’t he done so much in secret for me so many years. He was so loved by so many.

Milspo’s of Reddit, I really, really need you.
Just like I’m sure yours is for you, my service member, my husband, is my best friend, and has been for the last 14 years. We just got married in June and he left for training shortly after. Shortly after my much younger friends stopped talking to me (wildly different points/interests in life I suppose). I’ve been horribly lonely, bored, and struggling with my mental and physical health.
I’ll get to see him for a day when he graduates before AIT and then alone again. So I want to learn how to get through. I want to adapt, I want to gain skills. Patching the sad bored wound has gotten me this far….. what do you do?
Sending love, respect, honor and best wishes for you and your service member.

I jumped into treatment the moment I turned 18 (I couldn’t before due to medical neglect, blah blah, moving on.) I’ve been in therapy for years, had countless diagnoses, every medication and modality you can dream of, inpatient and outpatient, I’ve done rounds of TMS and came close to ketamine treatment.
And none of it’s worked.
Yes, nearly 7 years in I do have what were pretty sure are the correct diagnosis and correct meds and I’m….. ok. But.
My therapist of the last 4-5 years and I stopped making progress and she had to leave practice anyway for her own personal reasons. And after about three months with my new therapist, she told me yesterday: I was too severe of a case not just for her, but for the entire practice.
I needed a higher level of care, which they knew was not logistically possible for me due to my life circumstances. Regardless of this, she sent me a list of local programs.
I contacted my psychiatrist (who operates through the same practice), absolutely outraged! To me, it seemed I had been told I was, for all intents and purposes, beyond help. My Psychiatrist told me I was jumping to conclusions and “focusing on the worst of the worst.” She said that I had “borderline tendencies,” which was not something she had ever said to me before.
When I did finally get a look at the list of programs, they were all local hospitals. All but one were local hospitals that I personally had not only had bad experiences with, but spoken with her about those bad experiences with, and she had assured me she would never send me there.
I don’t know what to do. I feel backed into a corner. I feel like im being told: Your only option is the worst possible option that’s also impossible for you and will ruin your life. And it’s your fault, by the way.

And also my only friend is leaving me on read right now so.

Having a great day. Peace and love.

I’ve had growing pain in my back, spine, and sacroiliac for years, in treatment with this particular doc for about six months. I’ve made an urgent appointment because after a recent procedure my pain has jumped multiple points from my borderline and is majorly impacting my life, some days keeping me bed bound. In today’s appointment, he:

1. Suggested we do imaging to look for bulging/compressed discs or inflammation (yay! Finally!)
2. Suggested I try ibuprofen for the pain ( ?? )
3. When I reminded him I can’t take ibuprofen because I have issues with stomach ulcers, he suggested Diclofenac instead.
4. When I mentioned I have an allergy to Diclofenac, he asked if I’d tried naproxen.
5. When I told him I was also allergic to naproxen, more severely, he seethed?
6. He did not offer me any pain options and I went home

Excellent work doc.

Senior dog, 10yo, adopted Friday 07/31, medium/large mixed breed, neutered male, 65-70 lbs
He has kennel cough that looks on XRay like it may try to become pneumonia, he’s already on day two of a steroid and an antibiotic to prevent that
He also had exceptionally high liver enzymes when tested in the shelter, but when retested after adoption (vet appointment was yesterday 08/04) they had significantly dropped. Vet gave him a supplement just to be safe.

All of that seems fine and very well managed to me. He had very low appetite when he came home, but since started his meds it’s rebounded and become very normal. The one thing im wondering about is….
He’s stinky!
I can’t tell if it’s just him and he needs a bath and I’m somehow only catching whiffs periodically or if he’s just somehow silently passing gas every time, but it’s driving me up a wall and starting to give me headaches. Any ideas or advice are very appreciated.
He eats a combination of royal canin dry food and nutrish wet food.

Anybody have experience with Botox for hyperhidrosis? I’ve exhausted all other treatment options (medications, drysol) and we’re pursuing authorization from my insurance company. I had to acknowledge to my provider that I was aware that the shots that the shots were very painful, and I found that scary. Would love to hear any personal experiences.

I have a cat who im concerned is getting understimulated and bored. My orange 4yo domestic shorthair, Pippin, used to hunt bottle caps and hair ties and get intense zoomies. Now she walks around the apartment, lays down randomly, and requests less attention. (She’s otherwise acting and looking very healthy and has not gained weight). She spends a lot of time just staring out the window.
I’ve never known her to be this unengaged, and want to nip it in the bud as quickly as I can. What toys or games or whatever would you try?
In the past, she’s always been drawn to toys that move, flop, or make noise. There’s a plush bird attached to her standing scratcher that chirps when she bats it, and that seemingly doesn’t get old. I got her a stuffed hamster that vibrates, and she carried it around constantly (until her sister played with it once, after which it went to her hiding spot under the bed never to be seen again). Hair ties, bottle caps, bugs….. she has a bit of a prey drive. She doesn’t care for treats though, to the point that I have to trick her into eating greenies. So no treat dispensers please!
Thanks so much for your help! If there’s anything else that would be helpful to know, I’d be happy to answer. Make sure to give your feline a lovey scratch from us :)

I’ve had something following me or at least returning to me repeatedly for the past year, and im getting sick of it.
First, I heard a pained yelping/crying sound outside my window nightly for weeks. There are a lot of ducks around my building, so I assumed it was a duck, but it didn’t sound like it at all…. Closer to a large breed dog. Never found anything. Then, my dear friends health started to rapidly decline. When she got the worst part diagnosed, the crying at night stopped. She hasn’t gotten better.
Then, months later, I started hearing shouting at night. Sounded like people arguing aggressively in the street. But whenever I looked, nobody was out there, and my husband denied ever hearing it. It stopped after a family friend suddenly developed a degenerative condition.
Now im hearing it again. Every night, after sundown, when im winding down to go to sleep, i hear a sqwaking. It sounds like those approximations of prehistoric giant birds.
It’s been 4 days so far. I’m scared.

I got married in June and since then my life has been a paperwork nightmare. I managed to get my SS updated, but my drivers license and medical records I can’t figure out how to manage.
NameTakers of the US: how did you handle all that?
I can’t figure out how to get my drivers license changed. My state government websites are very vague, gives two places to go, says “you may need an appointment,” etc etc. and I can’t find the slightest hint about what this might cost me??

I got married last month and my husband almost immediately went into basic training. He used his first phone call to talk to his mom (not mad about this, I would too!), and once I did get to hear from him all I could get was: he’s at training, he’s been doing okay, but he’s been stuck in processing because somebody stole his wallet.
So uhhh….. where do I go from here? I know there’s nothing I can do about that directly, but what would you do from home? Also…. What is processing
I also need some input on managing myself while he’s gone. The bills and all that are taken care of, but im socially lost. He’s more of a social butterfly than I am, and all my friends from before cut off communication entirely after the wedding. How do I make friends? What do I do? I’m bored and lonely. I have a job, but im disabled and can only work part time, so it doesn’t fill much of my days. I’ve been playing sudoku more than a Japanese salaryman.
And is there anything I can do at home to prep for when he comes back? I plan to get rid of a lot of stuff and have us mostly packed by the time he gets back, but I’ve only ever moved a few times in my life and it’s always been a hectic nightmare. Reusable moving bags and boxes seem like a good investment, are there any that aren’t too expensive and have good reviews?
I know this is a lot, I apologize if it’s overwhelming. Any help, tips, ideas or anecdotes are valuable! Thank you!

I’ve never lived alone before, and my husband left for military basic training a few days ago. I feel like im going to jump out of my skin. I’m the most anxious and paranoid I’ve ever been, and so unbelievably bored!!! Turns out, you can only do sudoku and color so much before it becomes a chore. And it’s so quiet now, no laughter or video game noise…. Just the AC.
I need advice: what can I do? To help the boredom and stress? The discomfort?

Preface: This is not a medical question. I’m curious about biological mechanics and likelihood/statistics, not diagnosis or speculation.

My mother is blood type O-. My father is blood type AB-. I used to regularly donate blood, and the website for the drive I use lists my blood type as B-.

How can this be? I know I wouldn’t be O, but shouldn’t that make me AB? I’m really confused about this. My highest level of education when it comes to this kind of biology is a high school biology sciences class, 10 years ago.

Also, the same drive says about my blood type: “Only 2% of the population has B- blood. Your blood type can be transfused to B and AB patients. Since both of these types are rare, your donations make a difference…..”
is this true or are they trying to inflate my ego to get me to donate more???

Thanks so much for your time and help!

Im getting married on Sunday, and it just occurred to me that I have NO idea how to do my hair!
I have sort of like a short bixie, with longer blonde bangs and the rest pink, so it looks like a money piece.
The long parts I can handle just fine, but the bangs…. I haven’t had bangs in more than a decade, and I’ve never had bangs that looked good. I want to curl the bangs up Sabrina Carpenter style.
I have rollers, hairspray, dry shampoo, all that, just no heat tools. I have no idea how to actually use the rollers?
I’d prefer not to wet my hair if possible, I just got it to the perfect color and don’t want it to wash out any more, but if I need to im sure I can figure out how to just wet the bangs. My other concern is: aren’t rollers usually worn overnight, while you sleep? I’m an odd sleeper, moving around a lot, usually laying on my side or face down. If they come out or get messed up in the night before the wedding it could be devastating.
Any advice on how to use the rollers, protect my hair, or any other methods to get that flowy curtain bang would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks for reading!

I’m getting married in 10 days! I truly believe my fiance is the love of my life. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most forgiving, smartest, silliest, cutest, most responsible man I’ve ever come across. We’re absolutely head over heels for each other (yes, in an annoying PDA way).
We’ve been living together for nearly 3 years and have 2 cats.
What advice would you give? To help the relationship last, to manage the household, the wedding itself, anything and everything.
I want this to be the one and only time I get married in my life, and I want to create the best life for us I possibly can.

TLDR; getting married soon! Advice on general married life?

I’ve had chronic back and joint pain for nearly 15 years. No treatment is effective, and none of my doctors will bother to even try to find out what’s actually going on. I’ve been to so many rheumatologists who tell me “well, it’s not arthritis!” My current pain management doc keeps telling me it’s stress, and I know it’s not.
I’m 24. Stress should not cause so much pain that I can barely work, can’t stand upright for more than a few hours, and cry out of physical pain at least once a week. Something is wrong and nobody will listen to me.
They have me on a medication and dosage that’s so weak honestly I think they give stronger stuff to dogs. That and lidocaine patches. Yeah. Not working at all.
But nobody will listen, or nobody believes me, or nobody cares? I’m not sure.
I just don’t know how much longer I can live like this. My abilities, my mobility, my ability to live a life that’s a life at all is rapidly deteriorating. I feel like im watching myself disappear before my own eyes and nobody else is noticing.
This isn’t just stress. I know that for a fact.
I just wish somebody cared to find out what it actually is.
I guess we can’t all be so lucky.

I’ve been considering getting a psychiatric service dog for a few years, but have been unsure due to local laws around disability and such of the like. I have several of the recognized diagnosis’, but still have a lot of questions before getting started. Any help or advice is valuable!
I want the dog mostly for deep pressure therapy, self-harm interruption, med retrieval, and panic/anxiety attack alerts.
I understand that a lot of people won’t train self-harm interruption, and I understand why. If that service isn’t possible, that’s fine. I would always put the safety of the dog first.
What im wondering is: how do I go about this? What are the steps? Requirements? How do I go about finding a dog and/or trainer? And any estimates on how much I might be spending initially?
I’m in the US, but very possibly moving to a different state in a few months. Not sure if that affects anything. I plan to wait to start the process until after I move to make it less stressful on both me and the dog.
Any thoughts, advice, ideas, are more than welcome. Thank you!

So context: I’ve lived in the same general area (2 connected cities) for 6 years. In the last 3 years, I found a hospitality job that made me good money and was stable. All that to say: I worked hard there, and I did it for a long time.
While I worked there I made a few friends (fake names ofc): Kai, who worked on the same small team as me, and Viv, who worked at the same hotel in a different department, but operated very closely with us. Kai and Viv and I became great friends very quickly, and stayed attached even after we all moved on from that particular job. We’ve all been out of the hotel now for about a year, and we’ve stayed close, talked almost daily, gone out and done planned activities together and unplanned adventures. They’re the closest, most fun friends I’ve ever had.
I’ve been in a very serious relationship from long before I ever met Kai and Viv, and they love my partner. Kai calls him “The Party King.” My partner, Isaiah, and I have been engaged for two years, and are finally getting married this month. 10 days after the wedding, he’ll be off to basic training, and I won’t see him for about 3 months. When he comes back, we’ll be almost immediately be deployed, most likely at least halfway across the country.

So here’s my concern: I think my friends are separating from me before my wedding for some reason, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I mean, they’re my only local friends, it would really suck to lose them and be alone for 3 months, but… if they do stop talking to me, should I even waste my time doing anything about it? Should I even let it bother me?

Here’s why I think they may be pulling away from me.
Viv had a long-term live-in boyfriend for as long as we know her. But, Kai never saw him, and Isaiah and I only met him once or twice, on double dates where he would sit silently and not look at us at all. And not in a shy anxiety way. We came to learn that Viv’s boyfriend was extremely possessive and controlling, when she broke up with him recently. I think this is the first domino.
Recently, we planned what was supposed to be my bachelorette party. Viv’s birthday was around a similar time, so we chose to also make it her birthday party! I love that. The more celebration the better. Then, Kai let us know that he would be out of state for his birthday the next month, and could we just celebrate his too? Yeah, no problem. Celebrating all three of us at the same time sounds awesome!
So I meticulously planned and prepared everything. I hosted the event in my apartment. I provided assorted adult beverages, including those made with jell-o. I got snacks Viv requested. Kai wanted a cookie cake with Star Wars frosting, but I couldn’t find any cookie cakes reasonably priced locally, so I bought fresh cookies and piping icing and made Star Wars designs on them myself, by hand. I got us games to play.
Day of arrives. Kai arrives last, and the festivities finally start. Kai brought a custom, fresh cocktail in a pitcher— for Viv. Made with a type of adult beverage he knows I can’t drink. Later, Kai and Viv exchange gifts. I wasn’t made aware gifts were happening at all. Nobody will sit near me, and nobody laughs at anything I say. The teasing, roughhousing and laughter I’ve grown accustomed to is still occurring; just without me. Kai and Viv are focused on each other the whole night. I may as well have not been there at all. They leave nearly simultaneously.
Closer to today, Viv reaches out to me about my wedding. She says she might not be able to make it because she can’t get her shift covered, and she has plans with her dad that day. She’s known this was coming for over a month, and couldn’t secure one single day off? And even if she could, she can’t see her dad a different day? I know he lives locally, so that has to be an option. And to only say something about two weeks before is inconsiderate too.
Just a few days after Viv’s message, Kai sends me something very similar. He doesn’t know if he can make it, he can’t seem to get his shift covered and he can’t call out because of safety protocols. Right, so…. You also knew this was coming for more than a month, and couldn’t request a day off? Just 1? To see your friend get married?

Kai is single, funny, fit, and very nice to women. He has a stable, well-paying job with the local government.
Viv is single, beautiful, intelligent, and confident, but not boisterous. She has a stable, well-paying, fulfilling job as an EMT, and has plans to go on to medical school.
In less than a month, I will be: Married, isolated, reduced to a helpless cat lady. I have a job, but it’s not stable, pay is just above minimum wage, and I have no plans ahead of me but to be an army wife and then an officers wife. That’s my plan.
The gap here is clear as day. You might as well smack me in the face with it. To start to detach themselves before I disappear so it hurts less makes sense, and turning to each other about it makes even more sense. But why so in my face? Do you have to be so blatant about it? You couldn’t wait until at least after my wedding, if not after I leave?

I’ve had Party Princess Pippin, an orange domestic shorthair, for a little over a year. When I first brought her home, she had no hair at all on her hind legs, butt, or underbelly. The shelter’s vet couldn’t find an exact reason for it, but suspected she had some kind of skin allergy and licked all the hair off because she was itchy. She would often lick herself and bite at her skin.
Since she came home, she’s regained all of the hair she had lost. She sheds nonstop, but her fur is present and healthy.
As summer is beginning, she’s started licking and biting again. I frequently catch her gnawing on her tail and licking her belly. She’s already licked most of the hair off of her belly off already (I’m posting because I just now noticed), and the skin is very red and looks inflamed.
I have no idea what’s going on, but I don’t want to see this get bad. Is there anything I can do? Look out for?

The other issue I’ve run into with this same cat is whisker fatigue. It’s cyclical and severe. When she first came home, she refused to eat at all, no matter what it was or how or when we served it, for 5 days. She went to the vet and they found no medical explanation. Her gums and teeth are exceptionally healthy, and she had no signs of any gastric issues. She started eating when I offered her dry kibble on my fine china, which is almost completely flat. She would only eat off of my china for months. When I called the vet back about this, they informed me about whisker fatigue, and advised that she may be a severe case, but there isn’t much to do.
The fatigue comes and goes, and she’s gotten very good at communicating with me about it. I usually serve her food in a low cat bowl, and when she starts putting my clothes over the rim I switch to the china.
I’m unsure what to do because recently she’s starting not even liking the flat china dishes. I serve her food on it, the flattest thing I have, and she’ll eat about half of her serving and then toss a sock or a napkin over it.
I don’t know what I can do to best support her. I don’t want her to be in pain. I’m concerned she may stop eating again if I don’t find a solution soon.

I don’t have pet insurance, but if taking her to the vet’s office is my best option, that’s what I’ll do regardless. Whatever I have to spend or do to keep her healthy and happy. I’d bend over backwards for her.

Thank you so much for your tips and expertise.