Got embarrassed by my mom over my PC and now I don’t even feel like touching it anymore.
I'm a 19-year-old college student and recently got a PC because my old laptop died around 3 years ago. Ever since then I always wanted a new one, but due to our financial condition I never wanted to pressure my parents.
Last month I asked my mom if she could afford to buy me one and she said no, so I stopped asking. But I eventually lost patience and started working as a delivery boy and did a few other small jobs to save money for a PC myself.
After seeing me work that hard, my mom decided to help buy me one. At first I refused because deep down I knew that during future arguments she would probably remind me that “she bought this PC for me” and use it to hurt me emotionally. But my mind couldn’t stop thinking about finally having a PC again, especially because I wanted to learn content creation/editing, so I agreed. I also contributed a good portion of the money I personally saved from working.
Today exactly what I feared happened. She got angry because Microsoft Word/Excel required payment and kept saying she wasted money on “this crap” and repeatedly brought up that she bought the PC for me(she actually has no idea of tech except for using ms word for her office work). I tried explaining that the PC itself works perfectly and that Microsoft Office is separate paid software, but she didn’t want to listen.
What hurt me most wasn’t even the argument itself — it was the embarrassment and guilt. Every time my parents buy me something, eventually it gets brought up during arguments in a way that makes me feel guilty for existing on their money.
I even stopped buying clothes for festivals/Christmas just because I didn’t want them spending more money on me. I know some people might think I’m overreacting, but this isn’t the first time. The words used during arguments genuinely stay in my head for a long time.
Now I honestly don’t even feel like touching the PC anymore. Part of me just wants to let her use it and someday build my own setup completely with my own money after college. I only asked my parents to help me finish college fees for one more year, and after that I plan to leave, work, and become financially independent.
Ik most you think im over reacting over this small thing but it's just genuinely made me feel guilty