AITA for turning down pushy and persistent 'requests' from a parent when I'm available to help?
I'm a minor and live with my mother. I would do as she told when it comes to errands like putting stuff in the fridge or turning off the lights of another room. I am frequently unwilling and uncomfortable to:
Give her hugs
Give her my personal opinions when it comes to what I think she should purchase among these candidates that she already had in mind
Listen to her stories
Note: I seldom ask for her hugs, for her to be a good listener, for her personal opinions on my life, much less force her to give that to me.
And yes, I do know that rejecting for no reason, in daily life and socializing, are not going to maintain the relationship. I know that I need to be available to provide emotional support to be a good 'friend' and 'listener'.
First of all, she would wrap the demands nicely into requests, but in reality, her request does not allow rejection at all. I always feel pressured to comply. Secondly, when she approaches me for a hug and persistently touches me even after I said "I don't want to" twice, I end up having to raise my voice while repeating "No!" and be physically defensive like pushing her away for her to get that I don't want to hug her. Thirdly, her reaction would be something like, "But I miss you" and "Just a little bit, I need hugs."
Some time ago, her back was itchy and she could not reach the itchy spot with her hands to scratch it. I was available to help her, but I didn't, even after she pleaded. The reason? Because I know that she won't accept it, and sure she did. I said no again and again, and she pleaded again and again. In the end, she scolded me of lacking filial piety and that "I am not allowed to defy the orders of my parents. I am a naughty child for doing so."
It wasn't always like this. At some point, I've gotten uncomfortable with physical contact, regardless of the person. It was around this time that I begin to lose my respect and love for her, even though I don't clearly remember why. I just started being gloomy. I was willing, but it makes me upset that now, when I no longer feel any willingness (which I don't even truly want to lose).
My mother always thinks that our relationship is familial, but I don't regard her as a safe family member, as home. It's true that I never clarified the difference in how I regard our relationship. My intention from posting this is to learn where I am wrong and where I am right, because my mother can't tell me. Thank you for reading.