I want to cut contact with my mother
Hi, this is my first time posting to Reddit so please bear with me if this is a bit all over the place. Also sorry for any spelling mistakes I’m writing this on my phone.
Im 16(f) and my mom is 40(f). Me and my mom’s relationship has been a bit strained for a while now and it’s taken a toll on me. I don’t really know where to put this so I’ll just list some of the stuff my mom does that really mess with me.
- My mom yells a whole lot, it’s incredibly easy to make her angry and her and my sister 12(f) have gotten into screaming matches in the past which have ended in them physically fighting, though I fighting is usually my sister my mom had hit my sister before. The fighting is especially bad as me and my sister’s rooms share a wall and since that’s where I go when they fight so I can get away from it I’m stuck in my room while they fight in the hallway.
- Me and my sister get in trouble for being sick or hurt. A few months ago me, my sister, and my mom went camping with my cousins and aunt. I got a bad sunburn on my feet to the point I was sobbing just putting on my socks. I was sitting my the lake reading when my mom told me to go with my cousins on a scavenger hunt. My crocs were too small for me and this wasn’t somewhere I wanted to walk around barefoot so I had to put on my shoes. Dispite trying not to I started crying from the pain and my mom looked concerned and asked what was wrong. I told her my feet hurt and she rolled her eyes and reluctantly let me stay. Another time was close to the beginning of school, I got really sick to the point I felt physically weak, but we needed some clothes for school so my mom dragged me and my sister to the mall. I was very obviously not okay and it was making my mom upset and passive aggressive, which she is often about most things, and I ended up throwing up on the car ride home and my mom yelled at me demanding to know what was wrong. For context I have anxiety so when I told my mom I thought I was sick she didn’t believe it and told me it was just my anxiety. It wasn’t until the next evening when we were at a family members house to check on there pets because they were out of town that my mom final believed me because I almost passed out. I wasn’t able to leave my bed or eat for two days because I was that sick.
- Adding to the yelling thing my mom yells at me over grades. I’m not good at math, my mom spend two straight years yelling at me over my math grade, fifteen minute screaming fits where she’d take away things I liked until I cried, instead of actually helping me. Now I can barely do math without my mind going blank except for a small voice in the back of my head call me an idiot. When I tried to talk to her about not yelling at me over my grades, I was calm when I asked to talk, she yelled at me and said I was always making her out to be the bad guy.
-I’m not allowed to get mad at my sister. A month ago my sister stole and lost my favorite jacket, it was a birthday present. When I got angry at her my mom screamed at me and made me apologize to my sister. (I did end of getting my jacket back after a few weeks)
I didn’t think I should bulletpoint this but my mom has also been forcing me to be in Girl Scouts since I was in kindergarten. Before we moved I was in ballet and I absolutely loved it, when we moved to where we currently lived my mom said she ‘couldn’t find a ballet studio’ and signed me up for Girl Scouts instead. I’ve been wanting to quiet since sixth grade, I’m a sophomore now, and my mom has only now agreed because she’s ’done arguing with me’. My mom is also very guilt trippy, every time I asked to leave Girl Scouts my mom would use one of my friends or college as leverage to guilt me into staying. It should be mentioned that I also look like a you get version of my mom and my mom had to quit Girl Scouts when she was younger so I think that may be why she’s doing this.
Anyway I really just want advice, sometimes I feel like I’m crazy for wanting to go low or no contact with my mom. Sometimes she’s great but other times I’m scared being around her. Please just give me some advice on what to do. Thank you
Edit: I should have specified this but I was saying when I move out, I am aware I am unable to cut her off at the moment.