Would you move to London or visit?
Hi all,
I have a rather unusual question / need for advice from people on here. I am a 29-year old gay dude who lives in the UK, two hours away from London.
I've always wanted to live there but could never afford it (it is sadly the biggest regret of my life). I am now extremely torn about how to go about it.
I simply feel too old. I feel like the window to move there is gone. I now have money and time but if I fully move to London I would have to change my job. In order to do the same job, I would have to wait 3 years.
The problem is that my current job is actually objectively very good on paper. I earn around £82k a year, have a lot of time off, heavily discounted/free rail travel, and a rota that gives me frequent 2–4 day blocks off. I also get around 35 days off/leave a year, including ad hoc leave that I can place strategically. Every 6-8 weeks I get 7-9 days off ina row etc.
After really analysing my rota, I realised that if I optimise my leave and spend almost all my days off in London, I could probably spend something like 50–60% of my year there anyway. Possibly even more. It would be pure days off only.
So now I’m stuck in this weird middle ground where:
- I could technically build a very London-centred life while still keeping my current career,
- but psychologically I’m worried I’ll never truly feel like I “belong” there because I wouldn’t officially live there full-time.
The stupid thing is that every time I come back from London to home it feels unbearably dull and isolating by comparison. My friends, dating life, interests, and energy all feel far more connected to London. Yet at the same time, I know a lot of people fully living in London are exhausted, broke, overworked, and don’t necessarily even enjoy the city properly because they’re constantly grinding.
Part of me wonders if my current setup might actually give me a better overall quality of life:
- high salary,
- lots of time off,
- freedom to travel,
- ability to spend huge chunks of time in London,
- while avoiding some of the financial stress and burnout of living there permanently.
But emotionally, I still have this fear that if I don’t fully move there now, I’ll regret it forever and feel like I missed my chance at properly living my youth there.
I think what I’m really asking is:
- is spending half your life in London enough to genuinely feel part of it socially?
- or does not fully living there create a weird emotional disconnect?
- and am I romanticising “living in London full-time” more than the reality deserves?
I’m so desperate I’ve been considering changing jobs so Met Police Officer. All just to live in London.
I think I need someone to give me a reality check.