u/That_Boysenberry4501

I’m curious if anyone relates. My dog Jasper is definitely a special interest or obsession of mine. I think and talk about him constantly. I am so obsessed with him. Everything reminds me of him. All my vocal stims are around him. I just love everything about him sooooo much and I feel like my obsession goes beyond normal NT pet owners?? I can’t put into words well. He is my favorite thing in the whole world and my best friend and baby. I constantly bring hi, up to people or show pics of him to them or insert him into convos too. All I wanna do in life is make him happy.

Anyone else like this?

Specifically awkward social interactions or ones that I am not sure went smoothly. Its like after I had the interaction, Im left with this feeling that I want to wring out or wipe away or get rid of.

Its really hard to describe but its similar to oversharing "hangovers" where a weird mix of regret and ickiness and maybe cringe is left over after an instant of oversharing.

Except it happens for little interactions—small talk where I didnt quite get the flow. Where my tone was a bit off. Or just thinking about what I could have said (which i always realize later ) that wouldve been more funny or normal.

Just curious if anyone else gets a feeling like this?

Okay i dont know if this is an Audhd experience but its pissing me off and I need to see if anyone relates.

For some reason, when I say sarcastic things that are absurd, people think that I actually would do those things and respond super seriously and parental toward me. As If I made a stupid suggestion like a kid going "I wanna pet the lion!" At the zoo or something dangerous and needs to be told off.

It irritates me so badly. For example, I was asking about outdoor rock climbing with a guy who does it a lot. He said something about a specific type of rope being able to handle weather in case that happened. I went "well what if I ONLY want to rock climb in the rain?" (Sarcasm cause who would do that?? Its unpleasant and dangerous) and he got so serious and went flatly "no dont do that. Thats really dangerous."

Another time I joked about hugging or booping a bear cause theyre so cute. Anytime I say something like this , whoever i am with gets so serious and goes "Dont do that." They kill my light humorous vibe and joy with this parental flat statement. Or if they were talking about bear safety ill go "soooo i shouldnt hike with my backpack full of sirloin steaks then? Darn" and they go "please dont do that. Youll get eaten." Like it was a joke!! It was absurd why would I do that!

Theres a TON more examples cause this happens a lot but those ones I remembered. I dont know why this keeps happening. These are people who Joke a lot with each other. Ive witnessed them making all kinds of absurd jokes building off each other with clearly crazy things that are funny because its so preposterous. They arent people who dont get sarcasm.

But maybe I give the vibe that I actually AM dumb enough or socially inept enough to do the things I joke about? Maybe they've seen my general audhd traits and feel like I actually would blunder enough or seriously consider things that are obviously stupid. Like if i dont get normal social cues and ask questions they think are dumb, maybe i am dumb enough to do xyz. I dont know.

Also a lot of people answer my rhetorical questions or out loud thinking as if I am actually asking THEM or seeking an answer and I am stupid. Because how would they know that. But IM NOT. I AM SIMPLy making an observation or statement. Like "why do people park like that?" (Im saying isnt it crazy that people do that! Not asking you why people do what they do. So why are you getting annoyed at me for not knowing ...i wasnt seriously asking you its rhetorical).

Maybe thats because I do ask a lot of dumb questions so they think my actual rhetorical questions are also that??

Just want to see if anyone relates. I feel like sometimes I am the one not getting when other people are joking or ask rhetorical questions, but often they dont get my jokes either.

I just wish it was seamless and easy as it is for other people. So many of my interactions end up being jarring for things like this.

I assumed I cant be autistic (on top of adhd) because I dont feel I currently fit the idea of Autistics being all very smart nerdy people. I acrually envied the people I knew like that—they had SO mant facts and information on niche topics and I feel that helped them socially and when interacting with other nerdy types.

But I have memory issues that are even worse now. I have aphantasia, poor to non existent episodic memory, brain fog from POTS a chronic condition i have, cptsd, and perhaps long covid and screen addiction worsened memory too.

So wbile I definitely have gotten super into various things or subjects over the years amd been totally consumed by them, I dont retain most of that information. I dont have much "to show" for it except enthusiasm and knowing how much I used to know about it. Its frustrating!! I feel so dumb socially sometimes. And its worse being years out of college cause I cant nerd out over writing papers (writing is a passion and obsession of mine!) And im out of practice and not reading much anymore.

But as a kid I had so many obsessions. Like Harry Potter or lord of the rings. I would dive so deep into these worlds, learn all that there is to know, literally become the characters and larp all the time, make everhone I knew get into them too. I would literally write characters names on all my homework sheets instead of mine I was so into them lol. I made email accounts for every single Harry Potter character and would literally log in and email role-playing back and forth with each other 😂 and forced my brother and cousin to have Harry potter emails and larp witb me lol.

I used to read 30 books at a time. Making stacks and reading a chapter from one and rotating through. I would remember a lot more then and become obsessed with all these worlds. That and computer games like runescape/wizards101 that I was extremely hyperfixated on. I was basically LARPING 24/7 as a child. Constantly writing stories and drawing stuff related to my interests.

But now I barely remember books and media I have consumed. Its in and out for me. My attention span is sadly shot from social media too. Im too tired from work to have interests of the same degree. I just watch passive videos and try to recover from long days.

Same with other interests. I wish I could recite what I knew better. I also believe social anxieties cause me to forget things under pressure (social situations) and make me appear even less knowledgeable and smart. As a kid I was less reserved about my interests and could yap to anyone I felt was a friend witbout worrying that I am weird. So perhaps current social anxietites and traumas worsen my memory issue.

Anyone relate??

I wanna move somewhere for a dreary winter. Dreary can mean little sunlight. Lots of cloud and rain. Cold and snowy. I just wanna be somewhere dark and cold and miserable so I can stay inside and sip warm drink and lock in on my writing.

But also I want it to be a decent enough size for amenities like Healthcare options and multiple grocery stores and decent food and some interesting city stuff going in. A small to mid size city (or city within 40 minutes) at least. Preferably in the lower 48 states.

I dont care about COL—I will just look around for jobs.

Any recs?

So im revising my draft so far (I had only done seven chapters but had a hiatus and returning) and one scene I am not whether to scrap or find a new way to get the info across is one where my MC is catching up with their sibling and discover some important information that propels his call to action.

The thing is, my MC will leave this entire city and high chance we wont see this other character again. My scene goes in depth on their dynamic, which does reveal things and deepen my MCs character and add nuance. So it does serve that purpose.

But would most readers dislike to get to know a character for an entire chapter (and possibly get attached as this character is a very flawed morally nuanced character) and then never see further development of them again?

Curious to hear your thoughts!

And what are your favorites?? Do you want more (or any if none!)

Did getting them boost your confidence/make you feel more like yourself?

Im curious! I have a nose hoop and helix and im just starting to gauge my ears with a goal of 00g steel tunnels (to start lol). Im also considering getting more to express my personality and style (eyebrow or lip ones maybe!)

How about yall?

I am curious when it goes from looking like normal earrings /larger earrings to looking definitely stretched. Did people at work or around you notice at a certain size?

Okay do you use pomade, gel, clay, texture powder, blow dry it, or hair spray? Or a combination of things?

I realized I like my hair up and off my forehead more but it wants to flop down. I have wavy fine hair and it can stand up/hold waves and texture, but it needs more help. Especially on days where theres any grease, it just doesnt wanna stand up at all.

Its crazy to say that i lived better quality of life when I was unemployed and camping out of my truck and tent in the desert for 4 months than now being employed full time with a place. But its true.

Used to wake up with the sunlight. Have breakfast in my camp chair in the sun and read. Walk around, drive into town. Gym, workout and shower. Library and work on stuff. Fish tacos at a mexican place. Go to a meet up now and then. Do creative writing. Return to camp at night and cook on my propane stove. Sometimes walk around, talk with other campers. Eat and watch sunset, then the stars come up. Listen to coyotes howl. Slept sound in my truck.

It wasnt easy. But i had freedom. No boss. No demands of my time energy and spirit. Lived in and with nature. I was cleaner somehow too...cause i wasnt exhausted from 10 hr shifts. Was healthier...with time to cook and go to the gym and get enough sleep.

Now i wake to an alarm ​​at an ungodly hour and am sleeping deprived constantly. Not eating enough. Chronic pain is flared from my work. I hate being on time crunches, watched/surveilled , being lower in some hierarchy. Commanded what to do. Asking permission. It is Killing my creative spirit.

Anyways my job is seasonal and ends again and I look forward to being unemployed and technically houseless again. I literally work to save up money to not work for a while.

Was hit bad on the head 5 weeks ago and developed neck pain on week 3. Its burning, radiates into my upper traps and feel it in my head. Neck has been stiff, achey, cracks a ton.

No amount of stretching has helped. Muscle relaxers/ibuprofen dont do much.

I havent been to PT yet cause its hard to get it figured out with workers comp (injury from work). Im moving states soon for a new job and worried about this ongoing pain.

(I have a lot of other lingering symptoms too but I think it could be related to neck).

Basically...did you need any further scans and would that be of any importance to pursue? Did PT alone help you?, did self exercises or lifestyle changes help any?

Exactly this. Emphasis on friendship because expectations might be different from a romantic partner.

I have VERY few people I talk to in my life, so each person has a strong importance to me. And i dont know how to react yet cause i am healing cptsd and attachment issues.

Situation: This friend was one of the closest that I could be myself with and be vulnerable. We called on the phone fairly regularly and messaged frequently.

I knew they had some real life projects/gigs coming up where they'd be pretty busy for a while. But they stopped replying to my messages for 4 weeks and counting. I have sent out a few since, normal things and not anything showing anxiety/concern.

I see that they are online on WhatsApp several times a day, and they still post IG stories of the events. So they are on their phone and alive.

Basically... I want to know what a securely attached person's reaction to sudden ghosting by a friend would be.

I am sensitive to things cause of my past and dont know what normal is. My go to reactions are....either cut someone off/disappear myself and go full hermit (more so when i was younger), or , cause I have very few connections, easily jump right back into chatting with no real conversation or grudge. Lately its been more the latter. Im like a dog that forgives and forgets and let's people do the same thing over and over. They throw me a bone (a single reply and maybe a sorry) and i take it and were back to normal. And i can talk about my life/myself again no reservations.

Only my body still remembers it probably, and when I am being ghosted, it sucks. I feel not only very low priority to the person, but like not respected enough to say "hey I might not be able to chat much for a few weeks but I still care about you and want to talk when things slow down".

Any thoughts?

Hey all. So im moving for a seasonal job June through mid september. Gonna be in Seward/around that region.

Im asking this question because its a very different region/climate to what I am used to and there may be things I am not aware of.

Also while i hope I can buy most necessities there, things may be more expensive (or maybe harder to acquire?), so i am mainly wondering if there are things you would recommend buying or making sure you have BEFORE moving to that region?

I am gonna spend a lot of time outdoors for my job and in my free time.

Hey so I got a bad concussion at work 4/5 weeks ago.

Im dealing with a LOT of symptoms still and it impacts my daily life. About every symptom in the book, on top of specific neck pain causing more. I had preexisting tmj issues too that worsened and cause me nerve spasms in my face and a lot of pain and aching and inner ear issues too.

Daily headaches, vertigo, nausea, light and sound sensitivity, inner ear pressure and popping and pain, dizziness, lightheadeness, etc. It goes on. Im in pain most of the day.

Im moving states far away and starting a new job very soon though. I am worried about PCS affecting my work abilities and about looking obviously in pain or struggling at work , beyond normal people's experience. How do I even hide this?

Should I tell the new employer about it off the bat? My concussion is documented with workers comp and everything. I dont know if any accomodations can be made or what that could even be, but it would give me relief to know people are aware and might give some grace or I could communicate to switch tasks/take a break if my pain is bad.