u/The--scientist

I'm really struggling. My eldest just had his (FAB) high school orientation and it was fantastic. I haven't seen him make friends this fast since the heady pre-pandemic days. He was very cute in his Hello Kitty shirt, checkered skirt and pink tights. When I met back up after it was over he was sitting at a lunch table and everyone was trading Candy bracelets and talking about MCR. So there's my son sitting at this table of 7 girls, who were all in somewhat similar clothes, with similar hairstyles, makeup, etc. The exception was the two that are apparently in the "Lolita" subculture, which, as someone who had to read Nabokov in college, makes me deeply uncomfortable, but that's a different post.

Afterwards I'm asking about the new friends and my son starts going down the line... "the one with blue hair, his name is Alex... the black frilly dress, his name is Simon and the other Lolita's name is Jay..."

My response was, "all of those people that I just met were boys?" And he responded:

"You thought they were girls? Gross..."

So my question is, has the man-o-sphere infiltrated tween/teen media aimed at girls somewhere and started feeding them the idea that being a girl is bad? None of these people, my son included, are making any attempt to be perceived as boys, but they're all calling themselves boys. It feels like when I got skateboard for Christmas one year and then I was a skater. Could I skate? No, because I didn't want to break my wrist, but I liked carrying it around the boardwalk.

There's a kid we carpool with who was female assigned at birth and there's no question he's a boy. The way he carries himself, his clothes, the way he talks... everything. The pronoun switch was so easy, because it made more sense. But with all these other kids it feels like an affectation. Is this just a roll your eyes and wait for the dust to settle situation? Or is this actually offensive behavior, like an obviously white person talking about how they identify as black bc they're 1/16th black.

I know we're not supposed to question people's pronouns, but I feel like if I was trans, and felt deep psychological pain when I was misgendered, I would look at all these girls wearing the "trans" badge as something they can just take off whenever they feel like it, and I would feel like they didn't take my struggle seriously.

Is anyone else seeing this in their communities?

About 3 months ago I relocated from Seattle to Denver. About two weeks ago I was laid off. In my exit package, I was told that I'm only entitled to the pto I accrued in the 2.5 months that I resided in Colorado, rather than the 300 hours I have accrued. Does anyone know if this is the actual nature of the law, or do they owe me for the full 300 hours? I'm willing to hire a lawyer, but I don't want to pursue that if they're interpretation is correct. Thank for the help.

EDIT: Maybe I should just ask this single question explicitly: does this seem like a good deal for a piano that has been given the thumbs up by a professional technician, sounds good and will be delivered by professional piano movers:

Baldwin, model L, 6'3", 1964, delivered and tuned for $5,750 (being sold by a well regarded piano technician)

Is it OK to ask for advice here? I read the wiki and didn't see any requests not to post, so I'm sorry if it's a violation.

I'm a very casual player, I've always enjoyed my yamaha ydp-145, but my son (12) is taking it really seriously and has gotten quite good so I'm looking at getting a grand piano for him and my daughter to continue to learn on. My original goal was <$5k, which I know is low, but I don't want to spend $20k if he loses interest in 3 years. Here are the two pianos that I'm currently deciding between:

Baldwin, model L, 6'3", 1964, delivered and tuned for $5,750

Young Chang, G185, 6'1", 1994, $3,400 delivered and tuned.

Both have been inspected with no major defects. The technician who inspected the Baldwin said he'd probably replace the key bearings (~$500) in about 5 years and hammers (~$2k) in 10.

I'm not looking at this piano as a monetary investment, just an investment in my kids continuing to enjoy and pursue it, and there really is something special about playing on a grand. I just want it to sound pretty good, doesn't need to be concert hall quality (obviously at this price) and I don't want it to turn into a piece of junk or money pit in 5 years. I know a comparable Baldwin would blow the YG out of the water, but in this case there's a 30 years age gap and in not sure how much that factors in. Which statistically needs more service, a 60yo high quality piano or a 30yo mid tier piano? Will I be quickly disappointed with the YG out pleasantly surprised at the value.

One last detail, the Baldwin is being sold by an individual, but I learned that the individual happens to be a pretty well known technician in his part of the world.

There's so much about this world that I don't know and I'm incredibly confused. Should I be weary of a Steinway M in playing order for $10k from a week known shop? Bite the bullet and finance a modern yamaha C3 for $13k from the same shop?

I'd really appreciate any advice.

EDIT: I really appreciate all the advice for getting an upright. This was my first thought, and while it's still on the table, it's a much lower probability. We have a large, beautiful entertaining room (17x17, 17x34 if the dining room doors are opened) that is currently being used as a ping pong room because it felt too empty when we put the furniture in there. My wife really wants the beautiful, black grand piano for holiday parties and family gatherings where my son plays for everyone. I personally enjoy the look of a nice upright, but she's pretty adamant. I know she'd listen to me if I said, "this is a bad idea, we should get an upright," but I don't want to do that unless I really have to.