u/TheBigBis

I don’t always feel it but every now and then it strikes back.

I remember watching the finale to The Amazing Digital Circus and finding out that Jax is trans and it made me really depressed for a few days and it nearly made me want to come out, but I didn’t and the urge to do so is gone. I feel like the only way I would willingly come out is if I was so scared of staying in the closet and so fearful of remaining as a guy that I feel like I have no choice but to come out.

Me when I wake up and I’m not a nerdy butch dyke 😭

I still hate my facial hair though.

Ugh I figured I would just be a non-op girlie because I like my dick (and want to use it for sex) but every now and then I think about having a vagina and it sounds pretty good. There’s obviously the convenience of having a flat crotch, but damn it does feel like it could be gender affirming. Like I wish I could transition far enough that I forget that I used to present as a guy and having a vagina would help make that a reality. But, I don’t think I want to get rid of my penis either. I like it, or at least I think I do. It’s kinda funny and I want to be able to top with it. I certainly don’t feel any distress from it. I also feel like depending on the context, having a bulge would be pretty hot. I know that it is possible to get both but then I feel like that partially eliminates the purpose of getting a vagina for me. It feels like I only want one or the other. I also worry that if I think about it too much, I might give myself real bottom dysphoria, but on the other hand what if I’m only downplaying my desire for a vagina because I’m scared of surgery and prep and having to dilate for the rest of my life. Maybe I wish my parts could shapeshift.

I could’ve been a sweet lil lady or really gender but no instead I’m just the tragic bnnuy

Plus, it would be hard for them to adjust to. I feel like it would be hard for me to adjust if a family member came out as trans. I’m scared of changing so much of how they view me.