u/TheBurgareanSlapper

Has anyone thought of something like this before??

This is silly. The reason there was no restriction by default was because we didn’t think we NEEDED one. It’s the 24th fucking century. We learn about food-borne illness in preschool. You KNOW you’re not going to live to 140 with the diet of an 18th century Terran peasant. Sickbay is jammed and the doctor is PISSED.

Anyone who disagrees is a servant of Molor.

Move it, Ensign

Based on the one garbled communication I got from the bridge three days ago, the ship was hit by a quantum filament and completely disabled. The holodeck, of course, has a separate power source, but there was a hull breach right outside so I’m locked in.

The story is stuck on a loop. I’m something called a “high powered publicist.” I had hoped some of this power could be used to restore communications, but I can’t find it anywhere. 15 times now, I’ve returned to the town of my birth just in time for the Christmas festival. 15 times I’ve reconciled with my “high school flame” who is some kind of woodworking specialist. 15 times I’ve gone through the blandest dialogue trees imaginable. The only food in here is frosted sugar cookies and hot chocolate, and the safety protocols are offline so it’s ALL sugar. My Vulcan colleague joined me to study the historical elements. He entered a meditative state and hasn’t spoken since the third run-through.

Haven’t heard from the bridge in days. For all I know the rest of the crew is dead. If anyone reads this, send repair teams, fiber, and black coffee soon.

How can we as supposedly “evolved” Federation citizens justify this reductive social norm? Alien languages have so much phonetic and pronunciation variety compared to Earth. I realize our vocal cords aren’t hyperdimensional, but we could at least try a little harder. It’s just embarrassing that we still call him Spock rather than his proper Vulcan name, zHpkà#3xh.

I thought I was donating to a worthy cause. Imagine how surprised and embarrassed I felt when that miserable Ferengi toad pulled up to Upper Pylon 3 in a brand-new, latinum-plated, Risian Luxury Megayacht named the SS Bajoran War Orphans Fund.