How to Cope? LDS, Single, and Very Touch Starved
I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this question, but how should you cope with being single in the Church?
I (25F) been an active member my whole life and genuinely thought I would get married in college. Despite wanting to and trying, I’ve never even experienced a romantic relationship.
I graduated a year ago (from a mostly-LDS university) and moved to stay with my father in rural Arkansas. I still haven’t been able to find work, so I don’t have the option of moving elsewhere, so I instead applied to and got into graduate school near me (and am starting in the fall).
I feel heartbroken, because I genuinely wanted to marry in the temple and have a family, but it feels less likely with each year that passes. I know I still have some time, but I have to be able to support myself, so my longterm plans have begun to include medical school (which will turn into another decade of education between my master‘s, med school, and residency). If I’m going to be single, I want to do something I love, but I also worry it will be at the expense of being loved.
A reason I’m posting in this subreddit as opposed to elsewhere is because I really crave the physical closeness you can have with a partner. I’ve never struggled with the Law of Chastity (so I haven’t had any sexual experiences), but I’m extremely touch starved and experience depression because of it—especially during the follicular phase in my cycle. At the same time, I’m only drawn towards men that are both intellectually and emotionally intelligent or at least want to become more of those (I’m demiromantic and/or sapioromantic). I don’t really have physical preferences besides feeling smaller compared to him (I’m probably on the asexual-spectrum, but it could also be from a lack of experience or growing up in LDS culture).
I’ve prayed and fasted (for years), I’ve tried Mutual (LDS dating app), going to YSA meetings and conferences, etc., so I’m feeling pretty discouraged. I love the Church, but it’s to the point I’m considering dating outside of it if nothing happens in the next couple years. I’m open to dating advice, but I’m more interested in how to cope when longing for marriage and physical affection while waiting. Thanks!