r/LDSintimacy

I recently had an intimate encounter with the guy I’m seeing for a month now, and I’m feeling really confused. I’m a very physical and vocal person—it’s always pretty obvious when I’m enjoying myself.

When I gave him oral, he was completely still from start to finish. No facial expressions, no sounds, nothing. I honestly couldn’t tell if he was into it or not. He finished, but even then, there was zero reaction. He didn't even give me a hug afterward.

Usually, he is incredibly sweet and affectionate, both in and out of the bedroom. He has mentioned before that he’s insecure about his size (even though there’s really nothing wrong), but he also told me he’s had a lot of partners, so it’s not like he’s inexperienced.

I know I should talk to him, but I’m worried he might shut down if I bring it up. I just feel so lost—I have no idea what he’s thinking, if he actually enjoys it, or what I’m supposed to do differently. Has anyone else experienced this?

EDIT: i meant orgasiming not organising lol

Hey guys. I wasnt sure where to ask this but hoping to get some advice.

Im 36 and never had an orgasm (i think?). I've had other sexual partners and my husband has been the only one to get me close. It feels good but then it just... flutters away? Same with vibrators. Sometimes I get this feeling and I kind of... cry but I dont get this "explosion" feeling everyone talks about. I feel like my body is weirdly rejecting an orgasm and instead of having one it let's it out as a cry lol.

Also never got there myself - it just goes away eventually. Any advice? Is this normal? I should note that there has never been any trauma around this either, I had gone to a sexologist or whatever they are called and this question was asked. Ive always had decent partners who never did anything traumatic so its not that either.

Married brothers and sisters, how do you cope with a lack of intimacy? Not just sex, but physical affection in general, along with feeling like real partners versus roommates?

Men enjoy giving and getting. Is it the same for women?

I have to let off some steam and ask for a few opinions. I think my marriage may be over after this...

and I am not happy with my bishop.

I 62F know that people can invest money. For example, your nephew wants to start up a dog grooming business. You give him some money. If he does well, you get some returns. If he opens up a store, you get bigger returns. If his business does not do well, you lose money. It happens. let's say, for the men out there, a strange woman not only tells you she can help you invest some money, but she also flirts with you. Your bank alerts your spouse (okay me) because it's my money. I investigate. I find correspondence, dates, names, more women. I hold onto it. We go to the bank and he won't talk or show his app or give the name of the "financial advisor". You mention the names and he freezes and gets angry. Okay, are you following me still? He claims, later, there was no flirting and personal information getting shared. You show him the screenshots. The ones that tell him that "she" is recently divorced. The ones that say when she is free he can show her and her daughter the beach when they visit. Then you find that nearly a years' wages are gone and someone is remotely trying to take more! You realize this isn't an investment at all. He says, "Yes it is, look at what this online statement says!" You show him that it is a known scam sight involved in Human Tr*ffick*ng. Mike thinks I am wrong. He thinks it's real despite the online warnings for that particular app and site!!!
((People can have gains. People can have losses. People can flirt. BUT THE STRAIGHT UP LYING TO MY FACE is what bothered me.))
You take it to the bishop. (I don't believe the LDS Church's version of history but I still go to church.) He admits he was foolish. He admits he was a victim of fraud. He admits (after you encourage him) that he was lying. Then it is my turn. I say how hurt I am. I say that I feel betrayed. I say that after all these years if he doesn't go to couples' counselling l am done. You will separate. You cry. You are justifiably angry. You don't call names.
The bishop doesn't say " 'Mike' 63M (fake name) you shouldn't have lied to your wife. " Nope. He turns to me, and says, "You should be more forgiving. Why can't you forgive 'Mike'?"
I can forgive, but "Mike" is not the least bit repentant. He is just mad that he's been caught...and caught again!
That's what keeps replaying in my head, OVER and OVER, that I need to be kinder to my husband. I've been shaking. I feel like bugs are crawling all over me. I can't sleep. "Mike" on the other hand is eating, sleeping, going about his life.

I clean up the messes, go to the bank, go to the investor. Make the calls. He sits there confused, angry, unapologetic and doing nothing to correct the situation despite the fact he has most of the passwords and stuff is in his name, so he has to come along, begrudgingly. He only makes calls when he feels like it days later after the scammers attempt to tale more. (No he does NOT have dementia. )
Yet Bishop Car**n tells me, that I need to forgive, when "Mike" has done nothing, not said he is sorry. What he did say was, "I am sorry you are feeling that way about this."
...and that my friends is why I needed to vent, rage, and cry. The way women are judged and manipulated in our church makes me cringe... and want to vomit. I do not believe I want to kiss this man let alone ever be intimate again. Thank you for listening.

28f not married. I'm still exploring my sexuality and shaking off the shame of masturbation, and I'm curious what others think about this. Are toys okay outside of marriage?

So I (19F) love my boyfriend (22 M). We’ve been together for almost 5 months. He is amazing and I was never forced into anything and always check to make sure it was OK. My issue is I was raised very Christian and so was he. We’re pretty relaxed, but there is a pretty big purity culture thing where I live and I’m just feeling conflicted. We had sex for the first time yesterday and I am happy about but I feel guilty about the religious aspect. Is it normal to feel this way? And what’s the best way to explain how I feel to my boyfriend. Or is this something that’s not as big of a deal as it is. I’m asking for just advice on how to express what I’m feeling not for judgment on my actions. I’m aware of what I did, If there’s any other questions I could clarify.

TL;DR Me and my boyfriend we’re raise as Christian and we lost our virginity and I’m done conflicted because I’m completely fine with it and I’m not guilty that I did but the purity culture that I was raised does.

Edit: I just wanted to clarify that was protected and he used a condom and I took Plan B after because there’s no way in hell I’m getting pregnant and another clarification I do love my religion and I do practice it still like pray I read my Bible and other books. I have photos of Jesus in my room. I’m not planning to leave the religion. It’s just conflicting and confusing.

Okay so 28f, unmarried. Is Sexting bad? I have been sexting and ... Idk if it's actually okay

so i wanted to ask something a bit personal. me and my husband have a great sex life honestly, we orgasm regularly and everything’s good there but we’ve been trying to get me to squirt and it’s just not happening.
we’ve seen stuff online, read articles, tried different things, but nothing’s working practically. Is there something physiological going on, or is this more about technique? just want to understand if it’s normal to not be able to do this after trying multiple times.
and who’s actually responsible for it, for real.
is it my body that is failing like any hormonal or physiological issue or my husband is doing something in a wrong way. i have heard online that many women squirt easily

I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this question, but how should you cope with being single in the Church?

I (25F) been an active member my whole life and genuinely thought I would get married in college. Despite wanting to and trying, I’ve never even experienced a romantic relationship.

I graduated a year ago (from a mostly-LDS university) and moved to stay with my father in rural Arkansas. I still haven’t been able to find work, so I don’t have the option of moving elsewhere, so I instead applied to and got into graduate school near me (and am starting in the fall).

I feel heartbroken, because I genuinely wanted to marry in the temple and have a family, but it feels less likely with each year that passes. I know I still have some time, but I have to be able to support myself, so my longterm plans have begun to include medical school (which will turn into another decade of education between my master‘s, med school, and residency). If I’m going to be single, I want to do something I love, but I also worry it will be at the expense of being loved.

A reason I’m posting in this subreddit as opposed to elsewhere is because I really crave the physical closeness you can have with a partner. I’ve never struggled with the Law of Chastity (so I haven’t had any sexual experiences), but I’m extremely touch starved and experience depression because of it—especially during the follicular phase in my cycle. At the same time, I’m only drawn towards men that are both intellectually and emotionally intelligent or at least want to become more of those (I’m demiromantic and/or sapioromantic). I don’t really have physical preferences besides feeling smaller compared to him (I’m probably on the asexual-spectrum, but it could also be from a lack of experience or growing up in LDS culture).

I’ve prayed and fasted (for years), I’ve tried Mutual (LDS dating app), going to YSA meetings and conferences, etc., so I’m feeling pretty discouraged. I love the Church, but it’s to the point I’m considering dating outside of it if nothing happens in the next couple years. I’m open to dating advice, but I’m more interested in how to cope when longing for marriage and physical affection while waiting. Thanks!

Guys, I have a question for you. When you're in a relationship and you genuinely love your girlfriend, do you still find other girls attractive or hot? If you do, is it more like, "She's just a beautiful person," or do you actually have fantasies about them? Do you ever see another girl and think she's more attractive than your own girlfriend? How does this actually work for guys?

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Okay so this might be tmi? But I just squirted for the first time, and I guess i don’t really know what to do or how to feel? Because I was having phone sex with this guy I was talking to and like it kinda just happened outta nowhere where. Like I was so caught off guard, that i said it without thinking and I guess that made the guy really happy? So now I feel like he expects it to happen anytime we see each other now? Like now since i’ve done it, is it gonna happen more often or does it normally not happen again for a very long time? Someone help please 🫩

20f here is the list please tell me if its normal or not. :

• i cannot orgasm through penetration, is it normal?

• i dont really have fun during penetration its like okay yeah cool something is happening inside me

• i can only orgasm thru clitorial stimulation

• i cannot even orgasm thru oral

• i cannot squirt , everytime i have tried to , i pee instead.

• what are some signs u can squirt that its possible for you too. I feel its physically impossible for me to.

Now some advice needed :
How to give a good bj and hand job . Please not the generic advice, some really good proper advice.

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Hello there! :)
The guy I'm currently talking to is LDS, plan to get married in 3 weeks. I've know him for 6 months. He's the sweetest boy I've ever met. I'm not sure if I should join the church for him or not as he doesn't push it on me but I want him to know I love him! Ever since we’ve met he’s made sure to help me better myself and make me a better person.

He has never been on a mission as he just immediately went to the military when he turned 18. We will be meeting for the first time in person and also getting married within that time. I’m just curious on how the church will view me and my family. I am a single mother who is very much gothic and looks the part. I do smoke, I do drink but he’s been helping me cut back on that as he wants me to be healthier and happier. I come from a toxic environment so this is all very new for me. He doesn’t make me change anything about myself unless it is something bad or just unfit for society if that makes sense. I don’t really talk to him about religion and all that as I’m not religious and I don’t know much about LDS except for what I’ve heard from the media which is know is not a good way to learn about it at all. He has several siblings who have served missions etc, his family doesn’t know about me yet but he essentially plans to marry me and then introduce me to his family. What I’m really worried about is his family/church not being approving as he would be marrying a single mother with a child who is not his…. My mother was raised Pentecostal but I’m not very religious myself. I am baptized but I also know little to noting about the bible that stuff. I’m willing to learn but it’s also very hard because im neurodivergent. He’s never expressed explicitly wanting me to join the church but I don’t see why he wouldn’t want me too?

Are we allowed to get married at the temple?
Will his family approve?
What can I do to be a better girl for him!

I’m a Christian man and definitely find that I struggle with how I feel about masturbation.

I believe most churches teach that it’s something to avoid, and I’m not sure. Hormones are real, desire and wanting that release are natural feelings.

The reason I am asking about women in particular is that most of the messaging in the church is aimed at men, and avoiding porn. But I see very little to zero mentioned about women and how they might be feeling about this.

It’s not a topic you can just bring up at church group, and I’m not sure where else to ask a question like this where women might feel safe to be honest or share. Thank you.