u/Immediate_Test_8049

I recently had an intimate encounter with the guy I’m seeing for a month now, and I’m feeling really confused. I’m a very physical and vocal person—it’s always pretty obvious when I’m enjoying myself.

When I gave him oral, he was completely still from start to finish. No facial expressions, no sounds, nothing. I honestly couldn’t tell if he was into it or not. He finished, but even then, there was zero reaction. He didn't even give me a hug afterward.

Usually, he is incredibly sweet and affectionate, both in and out of the bedroom. He has mentioned before that he’s insecure about his size (even though there’s really nothing wrong), but he also told me he’s had a lot of partners, so it’s not like he’s inexperienced.

I know I should talk to him, but I’m worried he might shut down if I bring it up. I just feel so lost—I have no idea what he’s thinking, if he actually enjoys it, or what I’m supposed to do differently. Has anyone else experienced this?

Hi everyone. I’m 22, and I’ve recently started seeing a guy (22M) who is a recovering heroin addict (on methadone, clean for 1 years). He has a history of severe abandonment trauma from his father.

We’ve only been seeing each other for two weeks, but he is already extremely attached to me. It feels very intense, very fast.

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I’m really struggling to understand the psychology behind this from his perspective: How does your brain process a new, "safe" person? Is this "love bombing" or just a desperate, subconscious need for the stability you never had as a child? I want to support him, but I’m afraid of losing myself and my boundaries in the process.

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Any insight from people who have been on either side of this dynamic would be deeply appreciated.

Today I was hanging out with some friends and met this guy in our group. We were sitting on the grass talking, and he randomly picked a daisy and gave it to me.

A little while later, he went for a short walk, came back, and handed me two yellow flowers he had found, saying, "Hey, I got you these too."

It was such a simple, small gesture, but it honestly made my entire day.

We share a mutual friend. We ended up hooking up—no romantic expectations attached. We like each other. But he’s always hot and cold. We have sex, it’s amazing, and then he disappears for a bit. Then he comes back. I reach out, maybe we hang out. He always stays somewhat detached, yet he tells me he likes me. He shares things with me, I open up to him, and then he vanishes for a few days—days that feel absolutely endless.

Some of my friends tell me to let him see me with another guy, others tell me to just cut him off. He is so ambivalent; it's a rollercoaster of great days followed by completely empty days. It feels exactly like the "slot machine theory" (intermittent reinforcement).

At my core, I really just want to understand the psychology behind this: why does a man act this way? Is he just keeping his options open, or is it something else? And honestly, do I ever stand a chance with him, or am I just wasting my time hoping things will change?

I want to stop being so wrapped around his finger. I want him to want me, but at the same time, I just want to be free from this obsession. I feel so stupid. Maybe I was just too available, with no boundaries and no dignity left.

We share a mutual friend. We ended up hooking up—no romantic expectations attached. We like each other. But he’s always hot and cold. We have sex, it’s amazing, and then he disappears for a bit. Then he comes back. I reach out, maybe we hang out. He always stays somewhat detached, yet he tells me he likes me. He shares things with me, I open up to him, and then he vanishes for a few days—days that feel absolutely endless.

Some of my friends tell me to let him see me with another guy, others tell me to just cut him off. He is so ambivalent; it's a rollercoaster of great days followed by completely empty days. It feels exactly like the "slot machine theory" (intermittent reinforcement).

At my core, I really just want to understand the psychology behind this: why does a man act this way? Is he just keeping his options open, or is it something else? And honestly, do I ever stand a chance with him, or am I just wasting my time hoping things will change?

So, what should I do if I’m the asshole here? Am I wrong for catching feelings and expecting more when we originally had "no expectations"? Is he just taking me for granted because I’m always available, or is he simply acting like any other guy who just wants to stay detached and casual?

I want to stop being so wrapped around his finger. I want him to want me, but at the same time, I just want to be free from this obsession. I feel so stupid. Maybe I was just too available, with no boundaries and no dignity left.

Hey everyone. I’m looking for some advice, perspective, or honestly just a reality check on a situation that I know is probably a classic cliché these days, but it’s really getting to me.

I’m in the same close-knit friend group as this guy, let's call him "X." Some time ago, we started sleeping together. From the very beginning, we made it clear that we like each other but aren't looking for anything romantic.

Here is the catch: I definitely like him more than he likes me. I can clearly see that my level of affection isn't reciprocated. Even though I’m fully aware of the situation and try to just appreciate what we do have for what it is, it’s getting harder.

To make matters worse, whenever our group goes out, there is always some girl around that he’s hooked up with in the past. On top of that, our mutual friends constantly tease him and call him by "player" nicknames.

Every time we hang out, I find myself feeling jealous, and honestly, just sad because I wish there was something more between us. It's an exhausting loop and it’s making me feel incredibly stupid.

Has anyone been in a similar situation while sharing the same friend group? How did you handle the jealousy, and how do you know when it’s officially time to walk away before getting completely heartbroken?

Thanks in advance.