u/TheDizzyOwl

Typo in the title: dealing with* most people.

Now I don't have any ill will towards you fellow adoptee's, it's just in a general sense, it's like I keep thinking maybe there is a human out there that will add to making my life more healthy or at least help push it back in that direction, but every single one ends up just making me want to live in a cave until my last day.

Recently my false aunt as I call her (Aunt from the adoptive family) who was the only member of the adoptive family I hadn't exiled, messaged me after a few days of not talking, as she was disrespectful to me...again....

I overlooked her betrayal and disrespect of never telling me I was adopted or telling her sister, my adoptive mom that I should be told. She sided with her sister choosing to go along with her sisters wish to never tell me I was adopted...yet that's going along with harming the child (me) to protect her sister. She should have said tell him or I will. Yet despite all that, I overlooked it, I let it slide.

Her second disrespect was when I was telling her what me and a friend where talking about and she said "Is that all you people talk about?" Like what? YOU PEOPLE? That phrase can't be used in any other way other then being dismissive and disrespectful. Clearly she never cared about me despite saying she does....or did I guess.

The third disrespect was a more personal thing I have, where as a truth seeker, I can't stand when I tell someone something true and they just instantly dismiss, deflect and say I don't believe that. Like you don't know the context of what I'm telling you, you weren't part of the journey of learning it, you spend no time at all on the subject matter in question like I did...

So after a few dies she messages me and was all "what you up to?" like nothing happened. I told her I wasn't happy with her, and informed her of the disrespect she did, and did she apologize? No....she said I didn't disrespect you. After explaining it, she just said "Well then don't talk to me then." And I think she blocked me.

She's in her 60's....and she acted this way. I just can't tolerate disrespect anymore.

Been doing some light digging around for info,

Brief catch up on what I shared before, found out back in March I was adopted, whole adoptive family didn't tell me my whole life, blah blah blah. Got my birth certificate/adoption records, so had some answers. Looked up my bio mom since i saw her name on the page, only to find out she sadly died 2 years ago. So I miss out on ever having a mother in my life.

Alas, the main point of this post, she had me at 28 so it wasn't a "I'm to young" excuse, also I was the second kid she had, she had a daughter before me (how long before I don't know, maybe a year, maybe 2 or 3? Don't know.) Maybe she just only wanted a daughter and not a son? Perhaps that's it...

Some may say well maybe they couldn't afford to support and raise two kids? I don't think that's the case, as I looked up the address of my birth mom from when I was born according to the birth certificate, and it seems they were pretty well off since the house my bio mom lived in (at 28) was a NINE BEDROOM, FIVE BATHROOM house....

So I'm just really confused as to why I was given away. Feel free to share your thoughts or ideas. Thanks.

Small update:

With in a month I should learn the reason I was given up for adoption, called the agency that did my adoption and they have some pieces of the puzzle including the reason for being given up. I have to wait awhile for the resuts.

I'll keep this very short, as I'm completely broken right now. I found out back in March I was adopted, (age 35) I finally managed to get a hold of a copy of my adoption records. And I prepared myself for more pain cause well that's been my whole life. And while I got some answers, I got a truth that has shattered me.

Found out the name my bio mom gave me at birth, found out her full name and birthdate, she was 28 when she had me, so obviously she didn't give me up cause she was to young...there is no info at all on the bio father. Says she had two kids including me. (Doubt it was around the same time as it says both kids were single, not twins or such.) Doesn't list any reason as to why I was given up.

I don't know how to feel knowing that after I was given up, (her son) she had a daughter later she didn't give away...so why was I given up only? You might think how did I find out I have a sister or maybe half sister?

This is the part that has shattered me...I tried looking up my bio mother as I had her full name...and it was easier then I thought...googled her name, and what greets me as the top result....

Her obituary....she died back in 2024.... I froze after reading it. I knew it was her cause it was the same full name and same date of birth and same town/province. I never got to make contact with her....and my rage towards my adoptive family has skyrocketed, every member of my adoptive family knew I was adopted my whole life, but nobody told me. If I was told years ago I could have had time to contact my bio mom, and yet...that was ripped away from me...I can never talk to her or reconnect with her.

The obituary mentioned her daughter, so that's how I know I have a sister or half sister...as I don't know if we share the same father. But I can't help but think...why was I given up but not the daughter? And with no father info on my adoption records...I can't help but think, was I the result of rape? And that's why she didn't want me?

I have no idea what to do. I'm numb, in tears, and feel like a grenade went off with ringing in my ears...I'm in shock...but I thought my fellow adoptee's might be of some small comfort...