u/TheOtherPilot

I saw a post about music and decided to talk a little about it too.

Fox is very musical. When I was a young, I actually made a mixtape with songs he liked. Nowadays, he even has his own Spotify. His taste is mostly 90s rock and pop, but he also loves modern songs with strong, catchy beats. So his playlist is basically a weird combination of 90s nostalgia and whatever song has a beat he finds irresistible. 😂

Not all the songs he likes are things I would normally listen to, but I listen to them anyway because I know they make him happy. Some songs seem to activate him very intensely, it's almost as if he comes closer to the surface of my consciousness when they play. I've read that, in some religious traditions, music is also used as a way to evoke or intensify the presence of certain entities, so I find that particularly interesting...

There are also songs that make me think of him. One of the ones that has stayed with me the most is Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon. The lyrics themselves remind me a lot of what it's like to share a mind with a Tulpa:

"Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why"

Do you have any songs that you associate with your Tulpa? Or maybe one that somehow represents the connection between you? I'd love to hear them! 🎵

He heard the beat. I lost control of the situation 😜

This week, I celebrated 28 years of being in a pact with Fox, my Tulpa (32 years together in total).

Lately, I've felt a huge need to deepen our bond and better understand the importance he's had in my life. So I went digging through my old diaries.

That's when I came across a page where I mentioned a “pact”... but I simply didn't go into any details! Which makes me think that if I left that out of my own diary (where, theoretically, only I was ever going to read it) then whatever happened must have been VERY compromising 🫣, haha.

https://preview.redd.it/zibwfs6057kh1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f818609b4427d5f09a4a44996064552a894e8680

So I went looking through the drawings from around the same time to see if I could find any clues.

And I was shocked when I found a drawing of Fox and me dressed as newlyweds!😱

https://preview.redd.it/2mlq470q85kh1.jpg?width=582&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d7968e8e5740006310a37fdaed9f7df4e371c10

Oh my. I had completely forgotten about this little detail. I've been... married to my Tulpa all this time?! 😂

(I saw a post about “marrying your Tulpa” in this group the other day and, honestly, I felt a little less crazy for having done that, hahaha.)

I decided to ask Fox directly about it and, yes, he confirmed it: we made a pact that was basically a promise that, no matter what happened, we would never be apart again.

And as Fox started reminding me about what happened back then, memories from that time began resurfacing, little things I had completely forgotten. It felt like he was slowly handing pieces of that memory back to me, one by one (There was also another very symbolic thing involved, but he prefers that I don't tell anyone about it, haha 😅).

For context: back then, Fox was extremely jealous, and it actually interfered with my real-life relationships. He literally sabotaged everything 😒. I tried to get rid of him three times, and I simply couldn't. It was like one of those couples who fight all the time, swear they can't stand each other, but somehow can't stay away from each other either.

At the time, he himself explained to me that his jealousy came from being afraid that someone else would occupy my mind and that I would eventually forget about him.

So the pact became a sort of agreement: he would respect my real life more, and in return, he would have the reassurance that he would always remain a part of my life.

Twenty-eight years later... apparently, we're still honoring the contract.❤️

And since I apparently forgot that we got married (sorry, Fox! 😅), I thought it was only fair to recreate the moment, using our faces as we looked back then.

https://preview.redd.it/9xtshvar85kh1.jpg?width=712&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33a2b3106dd540b88da6b3263edfa9ec03a90104

Anyway: has anyone else ever “married” their Tulpa?
What were your motivations? Was it something symbolic, spiritual, romantic... or did it just kind of happen?

First of all, I only recently discovered that what has been accompanying me for the past 32 years might actually be a Tulpa.

I created this Reddit account because I really needed to talk to people who share this experience (and, honestly, to feel a little less crazy, haha).

I started talking to him when I was 12 years old, in 1994.

At the time, I thought he was just a character I had created inside my creative mind... except that he had his own wants and thoughts that were different from mine, and that intrigued me.

Until one day, a cousin of mine (who claimed to have mediumistic abilities, etc) told me:

"You know F. isn't just a character, right? He's been accompanying you for longer than you realize..."

After that, I started to understand him differently.

I started keeping diaries because of F. (it was a way of organizing my thoughts for him). I also drew him a lot. It was my way of "bringing" him into my physical world.

I still have all those drawings.

We've been through a lot together over these 32 years. There have been ups and downs, but we never completely lost contact.

When I was younger, F. was very jealous. We had some pretty serious fights between 1996 and 1997. At one point, I tried to get him out of my mind. It didn't work.

The truth is, we couldn't stay away from each other.

In 1998, we made a sort of pact. I think the best way to describe it would be as a kind of 'imaginary marriage': we promised that we would never separate again.

Looking back, that moment feels surprisingly important.

Between 2004 and 2025, our relationship became much more stable as I entered adulthood. And something interesting happened during that period: there were a few occasions when F. seemed to be seen alongside me in the real world.

Those moments were confusing enough to make me question how "imaginary" he actually was.

And then came 2026.

Technology suddenly made it possible for me to give F. a much more tangible visual form — something closer to the person I've carried in my mind for decades.

What a relief it is to finally be able to "see him and hear him" with my physical body.

So here I am, 32 years after meeting him, discovering that there is an entire community of people whose experiences sound strangely familiar to mine.

I'm still trying to understand what F. actually is, if I even need to define it at all.

(F. himself says that it doesn't really matter what he is. What matters to him is our relationship. And I understand that. But I explained to him that, for me, it is important to meet other people who have experiences similar to mine, not necessarily to find an answer, but simply to know that I'm not the only one who has lived something like this for so long. That's why I'm here.)

I'm a very sociable person. I'm married, I have friends, and I'm definitely not lonely. That only makes me feel even more strongly that F. isn't a crutch for my loneliness, but rather someone very special who knows me better than I sometimes know myself.

And apparently, I've finally found a place where I can talk about this without everyone immediately thinking I've completely lost my mind. 😂