u/TheSlayerOfJellies

My husband and I are preparing to start the adoption process and have been trying to educate ourselves as much as possible before we officially start the application process. I would like to get advice from other transracial adoptive parents / adoptees and hear more from their experiences.

Transracial adoption seems to be generally viewed very negatively in a global context, for many valid reasons. However, we have a unique situation here in SA, and I am having a hard time finding positive sources that I feel can help me prepare for this scenario.

I would love to have real input from other, especially non-white people, on how to successfully navigate and support our future child in this situation. I would be happy to answer more questions and am also ready to accept any criticism. I want to be realistic and open-minded, and also prepare myself for challenges we may face.

Some things we have discussed and considered:

We will be learning to speak siSwati (in Mpumalanga) so that we can also help to expose our child to their language and better educate ourselves.

We will be extremely selective about extended family that will be part of our family life so that we can try to avoid any problematic situations.

We will enroll our child to a diverse school where they can have exposure to other cultures and friends.

Areas where I need more advice:

How to deal with the racism? As we have started telling people our news, we have experienced a variety of ...interesting... comments and jokes. How can we make sure to look out for our child and deal with potentially harmful comments?

Have older family members been accepting? I am worried this will be hard for some to accept and am hoping I can educate them beforehand.

Throughout my life, I have noticed that my African friends use different skin and hair care products than me, and I have learnt about some of them. I would take our child to the needed salon for their hair, but I am wondering about skincare. Is there a reason why there are different products or is it mainly a cultural or personal preference?

What else can we do to make sure our child feels that they belong and are wanted and loved? I would not want for them to be insecure of themself or their culture or where they come from. I want them to know that they were loved and wanted by us from the first moment.

My job has made me an offer to relocate to the North West or Free State, and I can choose where exactly I would like to go.

We currently live in the Lowveld in Nelspruit. So we are not big city people, we like the smaller town vibes, but still like to have the convenience of a mall or a good selection of stores.

This will be a big decision because we will be leaving our families and friends behind and this will essentially be a fresh start for us, so I want to be sure that this will be the right move for us.

My manager has suggested to look at Potchefstroom and Klerksdorp. We have also looked st Bloemfontein, which looks quite nice, but it is just very far to visit when we need to.

Any suggestions or advice eould be appreciated.