r/AskZA

Hi, so I’m talking to a new guy we’ve been talking for a while now just casual stuff. We started talking on instagram and said he’s coming to my city to see me. I agreed since then I texted him we can meet and hangout as friends.

Since the last text I sent he ignored me it’s been 4 days now and I’m assuming he doesn’t wanna be friends but I didn’t wanna pressure him into thinking I want a relationship and that I was pursuing him. I feel he’s a bit offended by the fact that I just wanna be friends. I initiated the conversation by replying to his story on instagram so I didn’t want to feel like I’m carrying the whole situation I wanted to give him a chance to court me hence I suggested “friendship”

My husband and I are preparing to start the adoption process and have been trying to educate ourselves as much as possible before we officially start the application process. I would like to get advice from other transracial adoptive parents / adoptees and hear more from their experiences.

Transracial adoption seems to be generally viewed very negatively in a global context, for many valid reasons. However, we have a unique situation here in SA, and I am having a hard time finding positive sources that I feel can help me prepare for this scenario.

I would love to have real input from other, especially non-white people, on how to successfully navigate and support our future child in this situation. I would be happy to answer more questions and am also ready to accept any criticism. I want to be realistic and open-minded, and also prepare myself for challenges we may face.

Some things we have discussed and considered:

We will be learning to speak siSwati (in Mpumalanga) so that we can also help to expose our child to their language and better educate ourselves.

We will be extremely selective about extended family that will be part of our family life so that we can try to avoid any problematic situations.

We will enroll our child to a diverse school where they can have exposure to other cultures and friends.

Areas where I need more advice:

How to deal with the racism? As we have started telling people our news, we have experienced a variety of ...interesting... comments and jokes. How can we make sure to look out for our child and deal with potentially harmful comments?

Have older family members been accepting? I am worried this will be hard for some to accept and am hoping I can educate them beforehand.

Throughout my life, I have noticed that my African friends use different skin and hair care products than me, and I have learnt about some of them. I would take our child to the needed salon for their hair, but I am wondering about skincare. Is there a reason why there are different products or is it mainly a cultural or personal preference?

What else can we do to make sure our child feels that they belong and are wanted and loved? I would not want for them to be insecure of themself or their culture or where they come from. I want them to know that they were loved and wanted by us from the first moment.

Hi everyone.

I feel a bit out of my depth. B&B owners, I’d love your advice.

I live on a farm & with the owner, we have started a cool project. We renovated some extra cottages on the farm into a guesthouse / cottage vibe that is opened for guests.

Our first guest visited this weekend, and she was super sweet, but we realised it is not the most conventional / convenient process to provide tea / coffee / sugar etc. In little jars as we have it in our houses. We additionally realised we need some refinement, we are located in the Kathu / Kuruman area in the Northern Cape.

What I am looking for:
- Best place to buy coffee, tea, sugar, milk, etc. I had a look at Makro & TakeAlot; but the choices are quite overwhelming.
- What do you do for rusks? Do you use local producers?
- Little soaps, insect repellent, maybe a little shampoo. Best suppliers or ideas.
- Any other tips or advice would be absolutely grand.

Hi Guys, I’m not really sure where to post this question really, the programming subreddits make sure that questions of this nature stay off the sub. So I’ll ask it here to my fellow saffas that have studied computer science.

I have a bachelors degree in computer science and I’m more than 4 years out of university right now. I have a job but not in anything related to programming or what I’ve studied. I haven’t coded seriously since I left university and I wouldn’t call myself the greatest programmer either. I’m average or below average at best, I still have a ton to learn.

I want to get back into programming and furthering my knowledge but I’m not even sure where to start. The goal is to increase my skills and get a few portfolio projects under my belt so that I can find a job in the field I studied for.

If any of you have some advice for me I’d really appreciate it!

In the title 🙏

I've lived in SA on and off for about 20 years, so I’m familiar with the culture etc, but there's one social dynamic I've never quite understood.

Over the years, several people I've hired for services, including various cleaners, a pet groomer and someone who washed my car, have eventually contacted me asking for money outside of the work relationship. Sometimes after barely knowing me, like after only one encounter.

Most recently, a guy washed my car once, then started calling me the next day asking for money because he’s in trouble. I told him no and blocked him, and the next day he came to my house, which made me pretty uncomfortable. I also have a former cleaner who worked for me very briefly a decade ago and she still occasionally finds new ways to contact me asking for money. She won't take no for an answer.

I completely understand that many people are under serious financial pressure, so I'm not judging anyone for asking. I'm wondering whether this is normal in SA and happens to South Africans too, or whether being obviously foreign makes people assume I have money and might be willing to help.

I'm also wondering if I'm somehow giving off signals that I'm open to that kind of interaction. I smile and chat a lot, maybe that's it?

Hey all, I know we live SA and it’s stupid to ask this but I’m 21F unemployed. My mom earns minimum wage and can barely put food on the table most days for me and my other 3 younger siblings. If anyone can offer resources / help / advice on how I can earn a bit of money or properly budget the R300 grant I get a month it would be really helpful to me. Thank you so much 🥹

Hi guys

I'm 19F and live in East London. I'm going back to school next year and I'm really struggling with focus — I'm pretty sure I have ADHD and I want to get properly diagnosed so I can get the right prescription and actually manage it for school.

Does anyone know where I can get diagnosed around East London? Any affordable / low-cost places you recommend?

How much did your diagnosis + meds cost? Did you go private or through public (Frere / CMH)?

Any advice would really help, thanks.