u/TheVioletHerald

Extract:

The wording was perfect. Not “The King is dead,” but the more plausible, more tabloid‑coded:

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Familiar Fail royal correspondent style. Breathless, vague, and hedged with the classic tabloid get‑out clause  “reports are emerging.” This is the Daily Mail’s favourite construction. It doesn’t assert, it suggests*.* It doesn’t verify, it gestures vaguely at unnamed sources. Whoever posted it certainly understood the genre.

If this was a hack – and the speed with which English was able to post a response suggests she may never have been locked out of her own active session – then it was a hack executed with a tabloid ear.

I've seen some unhinged things posted about Meghan, but this is an absolutely insane headline!

1. Invite Harry and Meghan back on the condition that they get to be private citizens and Charles keeps the bullying media at bay.

2. Run a media narrative about how Charles is making up with his son. Republicans and royalists love it because Harry is the more interesting son and Charles, the face of the Firm, is part of the reconciliation.

3. Meg and Harry's businesses and philanthropic work are on every cover and the media loves it because their money runneth over. The public loves it, whether they can admit it or not, because H and M are more interesting. Meghan's style also becomes an even greater public obsession, especially when she wear British designers.

4. Will is triggered and further digs his heels in about NOT making up with Harry. This permanently mars his public image and makes him look like a wayward son and am unprepared future king. Cue Charles-approved headlines about George being more prepared to rule than his father. Kate also begins to lose her mind and goes from waiting months or years to copy Meghan to waiting mere days because she is chasing headlines that will never come for her. Will increases her clothing budget because while he hates her, he can't let her be outdressed by the object of his obsession. Especially not when she is married to HAAAAH-ROOOOOWLD.

5. Cue C&C-sanctioned headlines about how WanK are suddenly working more now that H and M are back. WAILING INTENSIFIES.

6. C&C pop up at an event like Invictus. Phenomenal PR ensues. WAILING INTENSIFIES.

7. C&C are the kind of people for whom knife-twisting is second-nature. They begin to order their press contacts to tease WanK's dirt in ways that don't violate any superinjunctions. WAILING INTENSIFIES.

8. WanK wouldn't dare spill any C&C dirt that could blow up the institution because then there would be no throne for them to take in the future. So they're bound by their rage, and caged by their ambition.

9. Charles passes with his wife, siblings, and both sons and daughters-in-laws by his bed (Kate risks getting hit with a bad headline if she doesn't show, and will have to suppress any tantrums if she does).

10. H and M with their babies will smoothly and safely exit the country afterwards, returning only to see Charles officially interred. 'COME BACK' headlines will hit the press.

11. A lackluster coronation will initiate the final chapter while Haz and Meg catch tans in the California rays. Well, Meg, at least. Gingers don't really tan.

Seen that new headline mentioning that Kate won't be attending a birthday party thrown by Pippa? The antics have already started.

Thank you to Harry and Meghan for giving me a million more reasons to wolf down truffle popcorn.

I like the idea that Harry told each family member a different tv show that Meghan was going to be in just to find out who they could trust! Wagatha Christie style like Colleen Rooney outing Rebekah Vardy with a fake story about a flooded basement

The author of the exclusive news about the role was the same one who had exclusive news that Omid Scobies book had been bought by Peacock

The nonsense continues. Imagine being so desperate to make someone's life miserable that you cause misery to yourself. Glad she got away from TMZ and their weirdos. Harvey Levin should be ashamed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1vu1hk4/tmz_didnt_like_a_royal_commentator_didnt_bash/

And how will Charles respond? If he scolds Will through the media he could get away with looking like a father reigning in his spoiled brat son and being mature enough to make up with his younger son.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1vmuotp/david\_foster\_shut\_down\_media\_claims\_that\_he/

Are these people not tired of embarrassing themselves? How many times have they claimed that something negative happened between Meg and a person, only for that celeb to come out and be like "wtf that's a lie, why would you say that."

Like when Martha Thee Felon Stewart lied about Meghan bragging about meeting Charles at a recent dinner party, only for the HOST OF THE DINNER PARTY to expose that Martha was lying and that Meg simply said that she and her family had had a nice time in Europe. This is after she shaded Meghan for having a lifestyle brand. (https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1vi9e18/comment/p2ca2jz/?screen\_view\_count=12&ext-referrer=DIRECT)

Or what about when Brooke Shields claimed on a podcast that Meghan was going on and on about herself and telling a story that no one wanted to hear at a TAPED EVENT with Katie Couric, only for people to look at the footage and find that the story Meghan told was one that Katie, who hosted the panel, specifically asked her to tell. Brooke later demanded that the podcast hosts delete the episode. (https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1vi9e18/comment/p2ca2jz/?screen\_view\_count=12&ext-referrer=DIRECT)

They also tried to pit her against Kris Jenner and failed, because Kris debunked the lies via her social media. (https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1p1vuh2/kris\_jenner\_reposts\_two\_of\_meghans\_instagram/)

Or when they claimed that Chef Poh said Meghan was awful and mean on Masterchef Australia, only for Poh to debunk that lie in an interview. (https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1vgn20g/poh\_denies\_rubbish\_tabloid\_claims\_about\_meghan/)

Or, my favorite: when they claimed that Gwyneth Paltrow was fighting with her, only for GP to make the famous "I don't understand this, do you understand this?" video, in which she turned to Meg for an answer and Meg, with a mouth full of pie, just shrugged LMAO. (https://www.reddit.com/r/RoyaltyTea/comments/1jjwpjk/gwyneth\_paltrow\_clears\_up\_beef\_with\_meghan\_sussex/)

The jealousy of the Firm and some celebs toward Meghan is straight-up pathological and should be studied.

My guess is that Will has temporarily ordered the press to not mention PP or the criminal activities of Mike and Carole (same names as the Brady Bunch parents, but with none of the principles. Also just realized that Carole gave Kate her same middle name and initials. Talk about vicarious living).

We can't let this die. Lord knows they want it to.