How do i gently ask for an increase in pain meds?

I’ve been on 10 mg oxy for almost 2 years now. recently switched to a new Pm dr because my old one retired ( thank god, honestly. He was horrible and didn’t listen to anything i said ever.)

i was on a higher dose, 10 mg 4 x a day but my dr decided to take a vacation he forgot to tell his staff or patients about and left all of his opioids patients with no meds for a month. So his relief (that i never met) had to prescribe everybody’s meds and sent 10 mg 2 x a day and 5 mg once a day to my pharmacy and i guess at that point my dr knew he was leaving because he wouldn’t up the dose back to what it was before. (white coats came and sat in at all his appointments and he started weirding everyone out saying we shouldn’t be on pain meds and it was just for surgery etc and we gotta wean down. Out of character completely so i assume it was the DEA) Despite my explaining i built a tolerance and taking me off an entire pill and a half suddenly was greatly affecting me. Frankly the guy didn’t give a shit.

Eventually i got used to the dose and learned to pace myself and when the pain comes back i just suffer till my next dose. I have a high metabolism so the meds last maybe 4/5 hours at max before I’m hurting pretty badly again. This is month 5 or 6 something like that on the lowered dose and i’m to the point it’s not helping at all. i’ve got another disc slip in the same place for the 3rd time. they’re talking about a fusion. a new slip on my cervical spine and a new slip in my thoracic. severe stenosis. arthritis, sciatica, nerve damage and pain and deformities from the disc bulges pressing on my vertebrae.
You get my point.

I’ve only seen this new pain management doctor twice. The first time i went without meds during the screening and intake (they had to get my urine test back, i get it) and i went into withdraws and suffered badly for a week.

At my second appointment he actually looked surprised when telling me how bad my new MRI was on my lower spine and that i needed a spinal fusion. He had no problem at that point prescribing my 2.5 oxy a day and a muscle relaxer. I don’t know how to tell this guy that these doses aren’t helping me. That i’m spending most of my day in bed not even able to function. That i know it’s wrong and im a bad patient but im having to pop an extra half almost every day that im wanting to be up and active because the 5 mg dose i can take in the morning or at bedtime does absolutely nothing for me. Which i end up being short and suffering on the days i have to go without to make sure my pill count ( if ever there is one) will be correct.

This will only be my 3rd visit to him in september and i dont know a way to explain this to him other than how i tried explaining it to my old dr and got absolutely nowhere with him. i also dont want to put my old PM dr down or talk badly about him to the new guy. i know how that looks. But the truth is, i got treated like the bare minimum as good enough and anything more than that was asking for too much.

How can i approach this without coming off badly? Most of you know the kind of song and dance we have to do to survive this system. Thank you in advance.

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u/TheWitchress — 2 days ago

When did you realize THAT friend is only your friend when it’s convenient for them?

For me it’s been a year of her never texting me back unless she’s asking me for something and waiting until i respond.

Except she doesn’t ask me for something straight out. she will skate around it in a way that makes me think it’s my idea. and i’ll have to go back and read the text to realize what happened.

i’m autistic. like diagnosed when i was a pre teen. What would now be called “high functioning”/level 1 so i don’t really get nuance or pick up on little things till way later unfortunately. Despite being highly perceptive.

Here’s how a typical conversation goes between us.

Me: “ hey, how is everything going, did you guys want to catch a movie with us? We’re going to watch (insert new movie here)

no response for two weeks

Her: Hey! i was throwing this party and have everything set up except i don’t know what to do about (insert thing she knows i have) because i can’t get one rented in time :(

me: Awe that sounds like fun! I have (thing) if you need it! Just let me know

her: oh wow. that would be amazing and will save me so much money, thank you!

me: you’re welcome. by the way. how’s everything going with you and (insert mutual friend or their child or family member here ) OR ill be asking like something general or asking if they wanted to hang out. anything..

crickets

for a week

until

her: HEY so i really don’t know how im going to get this put together by myself in time and my partner works all week

me: Oh , well i can come over and help you with that if you want?

her: oh wow that would be awesome thank you!

and then after i’ll text something. doesn’t matter what. and be left on read for another week

she says she’s bad with texting and remembering to reply but she really doesn’t seem to have a problem when she wants something or wants me to help her with something or needs advice on something

don’t you get notifications on your phone?!?!? and when you are texting
me about whatever it is didn’t you realize i texted and not have the decency to reply to that one first ?!?!?

ANYWAYS. when did you realize your “friend” was only really a friend when it is convenient for them?

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u/TheWitchress — 3 days ago